When you sit in a doctor’s office and are told that the vision loss you have been struggling with is not likely to be resolved, EVER and you realize, no, accept that you are going to have a disability that will greatly impact the rest of your life, you start to think.
My thoughts went to what I could no longer do. Im not gonna drive. Im no longer going to be able to work, at least in the capacity that I am passionate about.
And then my thoughts started to wander to ‘What If’. What if this gets worse. What if I lose my vision completely. What if I don’t get to see my kids grow up. What if I cannot watch my kids get married. What if I never get to see my grandchildren’s faces.
I started to spiral. I could feel the darkness setting in. I had to shut it off. I started to search for any positive, glimmering, golden, small strand of good in this pile of poo.
And then it came to me: What about all the things I couldn’t do when I had a job? The things I missed with the kids. Like at school. Field trips. Days off & winter/spring break.
Ok. This was helping. I was feeling a little better.
Then, as my Mom and I were walking to the car, I saw this girl with this perfectly, dip-dyed teal hair and I smiled. A good, deep down in your soul smile.
Working at a law firm, I could have never done something like that to my hair, although I had always envied and loved it. I decided to pick a fun color and go for it.
I went for purple. And I love it.
My girlfriend who is my hairdresser immediately announced: “Im not fixing that!!!” upon seeing it which annoyed me. I don’t want it fixed, theres nothing to fix.
My Mom asked me if I was having a mid-life crisis.
Ive gotten looks, rolled eyes …
Well guess what fuckers? You don’t know me or my story and your pretentious bullshit can suck it! (smile)
Purple hair, don’t care!