The Drive-By

A few posts back I wrote about pondering how to forgive someone who had wounded myself and my children who was terminally ill and then I also wrote about writing her a note in an attempt to take the high road and mend bridges for my kids sake.

Let me explain this…..The main floor of our home has an open floor plan with windows pretty much going around the entire length of the home. I had real wood window blinds installed when we moved in to match the wood floors and every morning when I wake the first thing I do is open all the wood blinds to let the light in and reveal a panoramic view of the outside.

Friday, around noon as I am cleaning up my lunch in the kitchen which is in the back of the main floor I can just make out a black car turning down the east end of our street. By the time I reach the dining room, it should have well passed me if it was doing the speed limit, which makes me notice that it moving slow as if it is looking for something. I walk into the bathroom and rinse my hands, which is behind one of the only walls that block my view of the front of the house and when I come out, the black car is directly in front of my house. I start to walk to the middle of the floor so that I can have a better view but not so much that I am standing directly in front of a window, because now I’m curious what is going on. There are two occupants in the car, two women and it’s obvious they are looking for something. The one in the passenger seat is pointing….at my house.
Why are they looking for my house?
The car pulls into my driveway. Just as quickly, I think… is that her car?

Before I can make it out the door, the car is gone. I can’t be certain that it was her, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that within a week of writing the note that she would respond. After all…she now has my address.

Randomly, today I also found out her best friend, The Instigator, as we all call her, is in town from North Carolina and its only logical that she would be the driver.

What I do find odd is that it seems she came to my house in the middle of the day, not knowing I’ve been laid off and when she saw my car in the driveway or maybe even saw me, she bailed.

Is she just wanting to know where the kids live – that they’re ok, well cared for? I don’t get it. Knowing The Instigator may have been with her makes me question her intentions and wonder what to expect. It also makes me wonder if I’ve just made a huge mistake and opened the door to a whole bunch more heartache for the kiddos.

Ugh. No good deed goes unpunished.


something strange is happening here. it’s very odd. it’s not like anything i’ve ever experienced and im not quite sure what to do with it.
he’s being…. genuine. he thinks about others.
he actually has been taking out the trash, doing laundry and dishes, helping the kids with their homework…..and then tonight, in order to celebrate me finishing up another quarter at school, he stopped at a little road side stand and got me a hot apple dumpling with homemade vanilla ice cream. it’s a rare favorite. available fall only. and he hands it to me and i get this look on my face like he had just handed me an open faced shitty diaper, like i didn’t know how to accept it, or how to react to it. i look at him stunned and i say, “uhhhhhhhhh………thanks?” like it was a question. his response. he laughs, kisses me on the head and went and put the kids to bed.
i’ve had a few really strange days. his mom’s best friend’s husband committed suicide. he was a really close friend of the family. all of us refer to them as aunt and uncle. i’ve never seen my mil cry so much. it’s weird to hold someone while they cry, when they are usually the one holding you. i made a lot of arrangements for her to get out of state.
then darryl called yesterday. he was elated. his wife has finally agreed to have a baby when he gets home from iraq. part of my heart soared for him…and another part…sunk. it’s an odd thing.
everything is weird right now.
edit: (10pm)
spoke to soon. we are at beer 8 currently. he actually just slurred a whole sentence at me about how i should drink more and loosen up. yeh, looks so appealing.