Sunday’s Song

“Rise”

I won’t just survive
Oh, you will see me thrive
Can’t write my story
I’m beyond the archetypeI won’t just conform
No matter how you shake my core
‘Cause my roots—they run deep, oh

Oh, ye of so little faith
Don’t doubt it, don’t doubt it
Victory is in my veins
I know it, I know it
And I will not negotiate
I’ll fight it, I’ll fight it
I will transform

When, when the fire’s at my feet again
And the vultures all start circling
They’re whispering, “You’re out of time,”
But still I rise

This is no mistake, no accident
When you think the final nail is in
Think again
Don’t be surprised
I will still rise

I must stay conscious
Through the madness and chaos
So I call on my angels
They say

Oh, ye of so little faith
Don’t doubt it, don’t doubt it
Victory is in your veins
You know it, you know it
And you will not negotiate
Just fight it, just fight it
And be transformed

‘Cause when, when the fire’s at my feet again
And the vultures all start circling
They’re whispering, “You’re out of time,”
But still I rise

This is no mistake, no accident
When you think the final nail is in
Think again
Don’t be surprised
I will still rise

Don’t doubt it, don’t doubt it
Oh, oh, oh, oh
You know it, you know it
Still rise
Just fight it, just fight it
Don’t be surprised
I will still rise

 

Sunday’s Song

Im a cool girl or so Ive been told by associates of the male gender. Im the girl every guy wants to hang with. Ol buddy, ol pal. Its really not a compliment, just an observation. 

The definition of cool girl is much trickier. Apperently I am the girl you know beyond a shadow of a doubt you could tell anything to, hell, Id tell you the same and mean it. It doesnt happen that way though. Theres always an unnecessary secret. The secret hurts, the details do not. I could have been saved so much trouble. But here we are again. Listening to what people think I want to hear. 

And lately theres this rash of “I dont deserve you and Ill prove it” going around. Self fulfilling prophecy. 

I just want to be free like all of you. Arent relationships a two-way street?

Here, let my girl Tove summarize:

Sunday’s Song

Jer signed a year lease on his own place and is in the process of moving all his big ticket items out of the house. I guess that makes the separation “official”.

I had hoped that something different would happen, anything. I kept hoping he’d be the one guy in my life to stand up and fight for me, but instead I’m just here shadowboxing, prepared to swing at something, anything.

He had said that his intentions were to take this time and space to work on his own issues so that if we stood a fighting chance, he’d be able to fight. Words vs. actions doesn’t seem that way though. Im grown enough to recognize that. 

As his best friend was helping him move out yesterday, I heard him say, “If this is a bluff, I’m not helping you move your shit back in.” It made my gut drop. My gut said this was something I couldn’t ignore. That’s his best friend. What exactly, if anything, has he said to him about his intentions? 

I don’t know. I just don’t want to deal with any of this. I’d just like to awaken when all the dust is settled and decisions are made so I know what to do. And so, we have this Sunday’s song …

15 Sensual Songs To Put On Your Weekend Playlist

Because I havent done a Sunday Song in a couple weeks and I found this list … inspiring. 

Thought Catalog

1. LION BABE – Treat Me Like Fire

“Hey boy, I like your style.
Come over here, let’s talk awhile.
Yea you, I’m curious what we would do, the two of us.
What would you like to do? I’ll introduce you to
my eyes, my lips, my hair. If you’re good we’ll go from there.”

2. Elli Ingram – Sober

I’ve been in love with Elli since I first saw her glorious rendition of Kendrick Lamar’s “Poetic Justice.” I might be biased here, but EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW HER BECAUSE SHE’S AMAZING. She’s an auditory aphrodisiac, and let me tell you, I’m into it.

3. Marc E. Bassy – Faded

Bonus – check out his entire EP, East Hollywood, on SoundCloud.

I’m kind of obsessed (in a totally healthy way…)Tell him Ari sent you so he maybe decides to be my friend..? Eh?

4. Kehlani – The Way ft. Chance The…

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My Top 3: Songs

I cannot tell you how incredibly difficult it is for me to narrow down 3 songs for the wide array of music that I hold dear to my heart. I love music. I cannot imagine life without it. If it’s not playing in the background as I go about my daily activities, it’s in my head. There is always music.

The Middle – Jimmy Eat World: This is my theme song. It’s my go to “improve the mood” tune. It instantly uplifts me and gets me in kick ass, everything is gonna be alright mode. It usually gets me up dancing, tossing my hair around and generally rocking out without a care in the world.

So Far Away – Staind: Besides being the song Jer and I chose for our first dance as husband and wife, this song resonates with me because the life that I am living now is so far away from my previous life and marriage. This is my life, it’s not what it was before. Im definitely not the girl I used to be. I’ve come into my own and am forever grateful that I have had the opportunity to do so. This song gets me quite reflective on how much I have to be thankful for and how wonderful and beautiful the journey arriving at this place has been.

The Dance – Garth Brooks: There is no other song that captures the dance of life like this song. It’s my outlook on past relationships and experiences, good and bad. I could’ve missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance.  Despite everything, it’s all made me who I am today and though there are things I would have like to have gone differently if I had missed it, exactly as it went down, who knows where and what I’d be today. It rings true of the sweet and sour. It so captures the beautiful experience of life that I want it to be played at my funeral, as a reminder to everyone there of what it’s all really about.