Equanimity means looking at things objectively like a scientist should, rather than emotionally. We know that scientists should be objective about their work, because if they are emotional, then they are likely to see things which are not there and miss things that are there. If a scientist badly wants a specific result (to be right; self-fulfilling prophecy), he or she is much more likely to make such mistakes. We do the same thing when we badly want something.
EXAMPLE: A woman who has been in and out of a number of relationships and each one of her partners was supposed to be the answer to her dreams. This woman is addicted to falling in love and imagines she will be truly happy with the next man she meets. She will fall wild in love again. She is so desperate to have her dream fulfilled that she does not really see her partners for what they are, only for the ways in which they meet her dream. She is shocked when she is forced to realize each time that her partners were not what she had thought they were. Eventually, the woman stops to investigate what “the dream”is all about. She wants love, but has not been skilled at recognizing it. Learning equanimity will be a big part of her being able to see potential partners in both their good and bad aspects. She becomes less and less desperate for a relationship; to prove she is ok. She begins to choose her partners with more wisdom.
When we find ourselves feeling angry, or needy, or desperately wanting something, or depressed, or jealous, or whatever, then equanimity is the way to step aside from these emotions.
That is what equanimity does: It looks at the pain without exaggerating its effects and consequences. It takes a balanced view
— chönyi taylor, ENOUGH!
Maslow believed that to understand the highest level of need, the person must not only achieve the previous needs, but master them. A person’s motivation to reach his or her full potential. As shown in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a person’s basic needs must be met before self-actualization can be achieved.
So, where am I?
I’m struggling with my basic physiology. I’m literally struggling to breathe and even just rest. It makes me feel the weight of Maslow’s pyramid as if it’s stacked up weight was upon my chest. If I am to start at the bottom and work my way up, I need to strap on my gear first. Hell, I should probably just start at taking stock of what is actually going on.
- Complete medical tests
- Food log
- Water log
- Activity log
- Sleep log
- Mindfulness, emotional
- Track spending, financial
I’m going to close out this blog and get started. I’m going to spend the next 10-20 minutes, downloading apps that will help specifically address the above needs. It’s actually a resource in the palm of my hands EVERYDAY that I am not realizing the potential of. I need to work smarter AND harder. I’m also going to commit to making daily contact with at least one person who can inspire and/or mentor me in continuing the climb because I know I will lose my footing and need this team to spot me up.
Instructions. Todays task: List some things that make you happy, and things you are grateful for. Spend 3 mins feeling grateful for 1 or 2 items on that list.
THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:
- Reading books on a rainy day near an open window with a spot of tea
- My bedroom
- The Fairy Farm
- Seeing a soul in a sea of masks
- Random acts of kindness
- Hearing the laughter or singing of my kiddos
- Follow through
- The feel of shag carpet
- Comfy clothes
- Cozy blankets
- Random rubber chickens
- Shooting stars