Just another manic Friday?

I am incredibly symptomatic following Wednesday’s epidural steroid injection. I’ve been agitated and pacing. Broke out into a hot, rash all over my face last night. Had the hardest time sleeping, constantly being roused from the edge of sleep with palpitations and chest pain. My body seems to be feeling the need to get up and run, which I guess is no surprise considering how much I’ve been laid up with the back pain prior, but it’s not allowing me to let my spine heal so that I can.

I swear, I feel like I’m caught in a perpetual Catch 22.

Trying to avoid pain medication and the potential fatal mix that can come with my other medications which all somehow fall into the central nervous system depression category, but still it. Trying to workout and lose weight without adding insult to injury. Trying to eat better but not being able to eat the fruits and veggies I crave while on a low residue, gastroparesis diet. Feeling as though I was doing much better at self-medicating with marijuana when I was younger, but not being able to do so because of my contract with pain management from which I need these epidural steroid injections, oh and that illegal thing. The same steroids that exacerbate my mental health issues and insomnia.

This is why Im a strong proponent for, at the VERY least, medical marijuana. Alcohol would be a better drug to scheduled illegally. If we can do better than Big Pharm, naturally, we should. Bottom line.

I am done with this vicious cycle and I just want off this nightmarish merry-go-round.

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

very-inspiring-blogger-award

I hereby proclaim my acceptance of The Very Inspiring Blogger Award. It sorta makes me feel like an ass to proclaim such a thing, however, to be seen as an inspiration to anyone really is an honor in my mind. Especially someone else who dares greatly in the blogging arena. So thank you to Ann, of GrubbsnCritters for bestowing this honor. You have encouraged me to keep going numerous times in our short aquaintance. That means a lot to me. Anything to that end is acceptable. ONWARD!

As with awards, The “VERY INSPIRING BLOGGER AWARD” comes with rules:

  1. Display the award on your blog.
  2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
  3. State 7 things about yourself.
  4. Nominate 15 bloggers, link to them, and notify them about their nominations.

Seven, maybe not so interesting but still worth mentioning, things about myself:
1. I am a supporter of marijuana legalization even though I am not a user. This is worth noting in my book because I think many people are under-educated on the subject. Before you develop a staunch stance on any topic, please know what you’re talking about. Here’s what I want you to know about legalization: a.)Marijuana does not fit the regulations for scheduling a drug as illegal. b.) Marijuana has medical benefits, especially for those of use that have chronic illnesses and pain; and c.) Accidental drug overdose from prescription drugs is fast climbing the chart of top killers around the world. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather ingest a natural, well regulated plant than a chemically derived, big pharm, engineered pill any day of the week.
2. I always wanted to have 3 children, two boys and one girl, in that order and I did, despite a miscarriage and only giving birth twice.
3. I used to be registered as a Republican. (gasp!) – lol
4. I have 4 tattoos
5. I currently have teal hair color.
6. I have been diagnosed with two incurable diseases.
7. Gustav Klimt’s “The Kiss” is hanging on my bedroom wall.

The people I am going to nominate are those who have inspired me personally. To those receiving my nomination, please do not feel obligated to accept or post. Just know that I think you’re special and wanted other people to take notice and be inspired by you :
1. The Bloggess – thank you for inspiring me to keep it real.
2. Kindness Blog – thank you for inspiring kindness.
3. Out of Great Need – thank you for keeping mindful and hopeful in thriving with mental illness.
4. After Midnight: A Christian Bipolar – thank you for leaving the light on.
5. Silverliningmama – thank you for inspiring my courage muscle.
6. ReinventionDiary – thank you for inspiring my shoulder angel
7.TheCompassionateGardener – thank you for inspiring my self-compassion
8. UncommonGraces – thank you inspiring me to embrace being a bossy gal.
9. MeganBuggsJourney – thank you for inspiring my inner little girl to fight
10. Ray Ferrer – thank you for inspiring what’s left of my sight and my home.
11. Dances With Fat – thank you for inspiring me to dance like nobody’s watching and to not care if they are.
12. Playfully Refined – thank you for inspiring me to doodle again.
13. 90Days to Spiritual Enlightenment – that you for inspiring me to shine one.
14. blahpolar – thank you inspiring me to laugh in the face of bipolar.
15. European Travel Adventures – thank you for further inspiring my wanderlust.
image