It’s been way too long since I’ve been this happy.

well, a lot of big things happened this weekend.

we exchanged our first “L- words” and he met the kids.

i was most impressed with how he handled himself. i thought it might be awkward but the kids really took to him, talking to him, climbing up on his lap and he was completely chill about the whole thing. we talked a bit about it afterwards. i told him that i worried that it might make things complicated for him, but he stopped me in mid-sentence and said it wasn’t complicated, they were a part of me and he wanted to know every part of me. this nearly made me shed a tear of joy.

i had a lot of mixed emotions about the whole meeting the kids things, but i’m glad it just happened and i didn’t overthink it all. it was actually sorta funny the way it happened. my ex had brought the kids home early. i had gone to see a movie with Jer earlier and told him about another movie i enjoyed that we would need to watch sometime. i had ordered pizza for the kids since they hadn’t eaten dinner and i wasn’t’ expecting them. so when the doorbell rang, we thought it was the pizza guys. Turned out to be Jer. He had gone and bought a copy of the movie I mentioned to him. i introduced him as my friend and that was that.

i explained to him previously that i didn’t want to rotate men in and out of their lives and for them to think that men leave and that’s how it’s supposed to be. he concurred, but also confirmed what i had been thinking … he’s gonna be around awhile. this was the main decision factor. i know it may seem too soon, but sometimes you just know what you know.

i did do the respectful thing and tell the ex about him. i told him i didn’t want him to hear it from the kids or anyone else, but that i had met somebody really special who was becoming a part of my life. surprisingly, he took it well and was kind. he told me hoped that he would treat me well and take care of my heart. he said that maybe just because we couldn’t have that picture perfect love, that didn’t mean we wouldn’t find it elsewhere. he said he was happy for me. and he thanked me for talking to him about it. hopefully, the ex will be smart about who he introduces to the kids but, i can’t make his decisions and i really can’t worry about that.

i just have to do what i know in my heart to be right…. and this …..seems like it.

Happy

i haven’t been able to stop smiling today. i’m just happy.
happy, happy, happy.
happy like i haven’t been in a long, long time.
happy like i don’t have words for.
so happy that i can feel my heart smiling again.
a girl could get used to this.
(heavy contented sigh)
oh boy, i’m in trouble.

Things that make me smile

My husband bringing home little wildflowers that he picked for me………

Having family gatherings…….

Pickle’s bear hugs……………

Smelling Nana’s sausage gravy cooking……..

The first hug you get when you see someone after a long time……..

Hearing my husband tell another guy that I’m a good woman……

Watching my Diva sing and dance……..

The HOT DOUGHNUTS NOW sign being ON at Krispy Kreme…….

Having someone compliment my children……

Getting on a scale and seeing the numbers go down……

The first bite of a Brownie…….

Jedi singing “Twinkle, Twinkle” to his baby sister everynight at bedtime……

Watching old home movies…………

Getting an unexpected letter or call from a friend/family…….

When my Mom does the dishes while she’s babysitting……

Hearing the 3 words I love most…….. “You were right”

Quiet, bubble baths……….

My sister giving every little detail of a story…….

My husband playing guitar for me…….

Holding hands…………..

Seeing the way the kids run to my Dad yelling “PAPA, PAPA”…..

Thinking of my cousin falling off a chair while we were drunk…..

My kids saying “MMMMmmmm” while eating a dinner I made….

When husband says “Go back to sleep” and gets up with the kids on weekend mornings…….

The way the kids run to hug me and yell “MOMMY!” when I come back from being anywhere for any amount of time without them…………..

Sincerity…………..

Watching my husband be a Daddy…………..

Trying on an outfit and it looking exactly the way I thought it would…….

Getting a compliment from a boy (even my sons)……

Having Happy Birthday sung to me