Husbandry

This is an ode to Hubster.

The guy who worked a twelve hour day, came home with a Frosty for my sore throat, tucked me into bed, then got the kids settled and got them tucked into bed.

AND THEN when I told him he was the most awesome husband ever, made a face at me like I was dumb for saying so, because its what he’s supposed to do.

Hooray for men who handle their business and don’t expect a blow job for their efforts. MUAH! I love ya!

Finally – some good news.

For months now…actually since right after we returned from our honeymoon, Jer has been in the pursuit of buying us a new house.  Obviously, a lot has happened in our national economy that has made this a great and horrible time to buy. When I get the chance to go into more details, and there are a lot of them, I will explain EVERYTHING we’ve been through in the last 6 months, but the bottom line is that yesterday

HE GOT HIS APPROVAL

Looks like we’ll be closing next week and moving next weekend.

Relearning HAPPY

I don’t know when I became accustomed to not being happy, where waiting for the other shoe to fall or the rug to be swept out from under me became the norm, but I am acutely aware that it’s not at all normal now.

I am actually happily married. It’s happened. It exists. I don’t’ have to try very hard. I’m just myself. He’s himself. We go to work, we come home. We eat dinner as a family, we do our own things, we do things together, we hardly ever fight, we have sex, we don’t have sex, we laugh together, I fall asleep snuggled up to him or him curled up behind me, there are no expectations…things just fall into place. It works. And I’m happy. He’s happy. The kids are happy. But I find myself looking for signs that something is amiss. Looking for whatever it is that I’m missing because it can’t possibly be that this is it. There isn’t a secret I’m going to find out 4 weeks from now? He’s just suddenly not going to decide that he’s unhappy? He’s not suddenly not going to come home one night? That could be a touch of bipolar paranoia.

But seriously? This is it? Life is this easy? Love is this reliable? Happiness just happens?

This guy comes home everyday happily. Helps the kids with their schoolwork. He even makes dinner and does the dishes. He sends me text messages every morning that say, Good morning, beautiful. I love you. Have a great day….or something to that effect. He kisses my good night, every night. And when I tell him how wonderful he is or vice versa we both say, but I’m really not, I’m not doing that much. It just happens. There’s no drama, no tragedy, no ultimatums. We just are. It just is. We are happy.

Shocker.

It’s absolutely phenomenal to me that I spent so much time, living is such a distorted, unpredictable, alter reality and THAT actually became so normal to me that THIS is hard to accept???

I’m relearning happy.

What a concept.

Hope Floats

“Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will… ”

The above quote is from one of my all time favorite movies, Hope Floats. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, I guess because it all hits so close to home. The starting all over after a failed marriage theme I suppose. The thing I never focused on was the ending though. The HAPPY ending. And as I was running errands today and listening to the soundtrack I finally listened to this track. Seems I was always playing the sad ones…and while it made me cry, they were happy tears.

I just wanted to put the lyrics out there…for Jer, with sincerest gratitude.

Jer, You’ve changed my life, my outlook on life, on men, on love….and whatdya know….hope floated back up. Thank- You, again and again, and again.

To Get Me To You

by Lila McCann

Well I, I still can remember times
When the night seemed to surround me
I was sure the sun would never shine on me
And I, I thought it my destiny
To walk this world alone
But now you’re here with me
Now you’re here with me

And I don’t regret the rain
Or the nights I felt the pain
Or the tears I had to cry
Some of those times along the way
Every road I had to take
Every time my heart would break
It was just something that I had to get through
To get me to you
To get me to you

Well I, I still can recall the days
When I had no love around me
Makes me glad for every day I have with you
And I, I look in your eyes and know
I’m right where I belong
And I belong with you
Always belonged with you

And I don’t regret the rain
Or the nights I felt the pain
Or the tears I had to cry
Some of those times along the way
Every road I had to take
Every time my heart would break
It was just something that I had to go through
To get me to you
To get me to you

And if I could I wouldn’t change a thing
Wouldn’t change a thing baby
Because your love was waiting there for me
Waiting there for me baby

And I don’t regret the rain
Or the nights I felt the pain
Or the tears I had to cry
Some of those times along the way
Every road I had to take
Every time my heart would break
It was just something that I had to get through
To get me to you
To get me to you