Recently it has occurred to me that the only person who ever really knows you, is you. We exist in people’s minds as their own perception and that perception is based on their own beliefs and life experiences. People always fear what they don’t know. I watch as so many try to make things fit into little, tidy boxes which they can fit into their lives, but rarely do they ever try to discover and understand. There’s a large piece of me that wonders if this lack of putting ourselves in others shoes, compassion, is because there are too many shoes now.
Our world view used to be compromised of our family, friends, neighbors and colleagues. We belonged to one another. We watched out for one another. As the internet superhighway revealed new landscapes, cultures, people and problems, it seemed as if we were evolving to a greater sense of stake in humanity, but somewhere, something happened. I don’t know if we have become desensitized from exposure, or lazy and label-reliant.
Why do we so often jump to a label and why the hell would we think that any label could be all-encompassing of every fiber of a human being’s existence?
Single. Divorced. Female. Male. White. Black. Mother. Father. Son. Daughter. Brother. Sister. Friend. Addict. Average. Beautiful. Smart. Disabled. Obese. Bipolar. Narcissist. Loyal. Kind. Christian. Jewish. Muslim. Buddhist. Gay. Neuro typical. On the spectrum.
All of these words have a different meaning because we all have different perspectives.
For example, seeing someone as a traitor is not an absolute truth, even if everyone believes it.
Another example, hearing something about someone you “know” and thinking, “That’s not the person I know.” This, on the other hand, is actually true.
This is why you should question everything you’re told, even if you heard it from me.
The most interesting take away from all of this has been discovering what people think of me and realizing that it almost always has nothing to do me. It’s their perception and if you pay attention you learn WAY more about the other person before they’d ever have a clue they’d given themselves away.
It’s slowly becoming the most frightening and exhilarating discovery of my life.
Darkness is lack of light, as sin is lack of love. It has no unique properties of its own. It is an example of the “scarcity” fallacy, from which only error can proceed. Truth is always abundant. Those who perceive and acknowledge that they have everything have no need for driven behavior of any kind.
~ A Course in Miracles
“What binds us together is greater than what drives us apart, and if enough people believe in the truth of that proposition and act on it, then we might not solve every problem, but we can get something meaningful done.”
~ President Barack Obama
Friday morning as I was preparing to head home from Orlando, I pulled out the Bible in the nightstand drawer to complete a daily devotional. It opened to a page where a piece of paper had been placed and I was emotionally accosted by a racial slur. Just one word and disgust turned my stomach. Sadness filled my heart.
There I was: “Where dreams come true” and yet, somehow in the year of 2017, Martin Luther King Jr’s dream has yet to be realized. People are still hung up on color of skin rather than the content of character? How is that possible?
I don’t have an answer, but through life I’ve learned over and over again that the solution to most of life’s problems is LOVE. So, I crumbled hate up and replaced it with love.
Sundays for me have always been about Jesus and football. As I watch the opinions on social media regarding #takeaknee I just wanted to offer a loving reminder that empathy>opinion and Jesus’ greatest commandment was to “love one another”.
“If you have to choose one idea from your religion to hang your hat on, let it be one that requires *you* to change, not one that requires *others* to change.”
–Glennon Doyle Melton
It started with Donald Trump.
His words. His tone. His mindset.
It reminded me of never telling anyone about what I experienced.
Just looking at that sentence, the way the words are hanging in the air of an otherwise blank page seemingly uncapable of bearing such a worldshattering weighted statement.
He did. He raped me.
More than that, it is because I remained silent that he would be able to rape another.
When I hear Trump’s words, it all flooded back to me.
Being grabbed by the pussy. Being told he owned it. Not that way he would a more prized status symbol. He just owned me. Like husband’s used to not even 100? years ago? That’s how primative this is. That was his mindset. Ive seen it up close and personal. There is no way to spin it. It’s so obviously ugly … or it should be. This is the only “should” I am certain of.
The anxiety set in. The post traumatic stress. I couldnt sleep. I cut into my skin. I tried to snap out of it. I overcompensate for the inevitable low swing by trying to get as high as possible.
Movement. Endorphines. Hormones. THC. Humor.
I reach out to friends and who should reach back but one of my oldest, dearest friends. But she’s flailing and gasping for air. She is being confined to a small place by the love of her life. The father of her children. He loves her, but when the alcohol owns him, he owns her. He grabs her by the pussy mentally. A real mind fuck.
And I remember.
Once youve seen it for yourself up close and personal, there is no unseeing that. You become more atuned to where that frequency resides and how to avoid it, but it never goes away. It is very similar to a parallel universe. Just beneath the surface.
Why are women still having exposure to such an experience?
Are we still so uncivilized? Are we still so primitive in consciousness that we are unable to morally conceive that one human sbould not be, even in the mindset, owning another human?
It never fails that when I hear a sermon Sunday morning that convicts me spiritually, I am tested HARDCORE on the subject. is it just me?
Maybe I dont want the eyes of my heart opened!! 🙈