Bed of Lies

So does she know I’ve been in that bed before?

A thousand count, and not a single thread of truth

If I was just another girl

Then I’m ashamed to say that I’m not over you

There’s one thing I need to know

So call me when you’re not so busy just thinking of yourself…

Do you ever think of me when you lie?

Lie down in your bed, your bed of lies

And I knew better than to look in your eyes

They only pretend you would be mine

And oh how you made me believe

You had me caught in every web that you weaved

But do you ever think of me when you lie?

Lie down in your bed, your bed of lies

Lesson learned

The smartest person you ever knew may not be the most honest.

Professional liar. Social engineering.

It was so revolting to realize today, you threw up.

Didn’t you know it from the start?
When will you learn?

I get it, you saw what was lying broken, underneath the facade and thought you could get through.

That doesn’t make you a stupid girl.

No, it’s not right, but you’re going to be ok.

You have contemplated the lesson and punished yourself enough.

Enough now.

Go live YOUR life now.

i’m currently dealing with a somewhat life or death scenario. if you’re wondering how something can be somewhat of a life or death situation, you’re not alone. in summary, it’s because the doctor currently in charge of me medically has decided he’s some great all knowing wizard who is keen on assuming that the intercranial hypertension is being caused by a medication ( which ive been told I shouldn’t stop taking by the doctor prescribing) even in the face of lab results disproving the theory and sending you home, despite everybody you know and anything any us could find on the internet saying the condition requires immediate medical treatment.

it’s a fairly common thing for people with scleroderma to develop serious problems with their. Ital organs (heart, kidneys). i don’t know how much more patience i can extend here. all I know is that something is off and I want to get to the bottom of it. this is not conducive to my mental health.

if anything should happen please transfer custody of my beloved children and house to my best friends, Tess and Pat. although it wasn’t easy, we have discussed that these are my wishes.

facing mortality is tough, especially when it’s your own mortality and you’re a single mother. honestly, if im going to die, so be it. im not afraid to die. the thought of not knowing what might happen with my kids, well, i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.