I don’t know much, but I know that I cannot live in poverty. I’ve seen it up close and personal, it scared the hell out of me and I just can not do it. In fact, no one should live in poverty, ever. As for me, I’ve come to the decision that I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees and at the mercy of others. Fortunately, this has coincided with a marked improvement in my health. Even though I have no certainty it will last, I figure, I’ve got to try to get a leg up while I can professionally because: MONEY, and also life is expensive.
I’ve been out here flexing my courage muscle. I refreshed my resume, put myself out there and almost immediately someone reached out with an opportunity to return to the legal sector. I’ve been even more fortunate to pull a chair up to the boardroom table three times within the past two weeks. Now, a job offer hangs in the balance. It’s a tall order, but it seems the pay will be commensurate.
We met with the personal trainer this morning to discuss where we have been, are at presently and the goals we would like to achieve going forward. I talked about everything I had been through and followed it with: “My main man here told me that I have done enough for everyone else. It’s time to learn how to be selfish and that is going to start by me taking care of myself, before I can give to anyone/anything else, even him.” With great trepidation I turned to him to await his reaction. He turned away from me, looked our trainer right in the eye and with complete sincerity, he said:
“She’s the most amazing woman I have ever known.”
If Im lost then how can I find myself?
Ive been having a lot of thoughts about my religious and/or spiritual beliefs.
Somehow, this seems to surmise my frustrations and longings.
They have propped my head between the pillow and the sheet-cuff Like an eye between two white lids that will not shut. Stupid pupil, it has to take everything in.
From: Tulips, Plath, Sylvia. Ariel: The Restored Edition.
“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” ~ Jane Howard
I am so very thankful for my wild woman sisters from other misters today. We were supposed to have book club last night, book club. Innocent, enough. As it turns out, our fearless female leader had fallen ill, so the two sisters I had tagging along for book club and I ended up at barcade. We got our Yoshi, pinball, PacMan, Skee-ball ON and were silly and wild and there was so much laughter and joy. Different ages, different races. Delicious ambiguity.
Yes, please, may I have some more?