why? … Why?

I spent a couple hours Friday staring down a ghost. He was there in the flesh, familiar, but a complete stranger. Someone I used to know? A figment of my imagination?

I couldn’t look at him. It made my stomach turnover. I could barely make myself listen in the courtroom as he undermined his actions and my meaning to him and highlighted his moving on… a new job, a new fiance, since the charges were filed a month ago. 

Im so thankful Tess was in town and there to hold my hand when I was allotted time as a victim to address the Court. I’m proud of myself for standing up for myself this time, instead of worrying about his consequences.

The aftermath, set off a stress flare. ALL the symptoms for ALL the things. 

While I’m recovering, this shall be on repeat:

You brought the flames and you put me through hell
I had to learn how to fight for myself
And we both know all the truth I could tell
I’ll just say this is “I wish you farewell”

I hope you’re somewhere prayin’,
I hope your soul is changin’, 
I hope you find your peace
Falling on your knees, prayin’