Establishing boundaries

I woke up this morning to a message request sent through Facebook Messenger. It was the EX.

Please just talk with me soon. Please steph. I miss you  guys.

I don’t know what there is to talk about because we live with different truths in different realities. That was my response.

I honestly do not know if there is a right response here. I struggle with giving no response to someone I know so intimately struggles with their demons. I also struggle with any response I give, not knowing the mindframe in which it will be received.

He asked about me and the kids and I could not answer. I didn’t feel safe doing so. Then, he told me that he might move to California for a job but that he didn’t want to go if there was even a chance to see any of us. He spoke about the months he spent in jail and the time he spent there reading, learning and inspecting himself. He continued to say that he was doing everything the courts and I had told him to do and that he didn’t need drugs to alter anything about him or his life anymore. He said he was sorry. He asked me to let God in my heart and to forgive him.

My heart is not the problem. It’s my memory. Just a month ago, he was not in a good place mentally. The stories that make their way back to me from his mouth to others’ ears are never accountable or based in reality.

 All I could offer was that he should take the job in California and get a fresh start. If he really wanted to help make amends, he could put his money where his mouth is where I am concerned and he could write letters to the kids, they are old and capable enough to make their own decisions where he is concerned, but generally, we all had boundaries he needed to respect. Less conversation, more action.

That’s it. That’s all I’ve got.

One thought on “Establishing boundaries

  1. He’s contacted u again? I feelbthat your response was the right response. In my opinion. The demons he struggles with cannot be fixed or tamed in a months time, even if he has been working hard day in and day out. You and the kids health and well-being come before his outlook on himself. That’s just something he needs to learn to accept and deal with. Point blank. Love u, Mama.

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