Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,

I humbly submit the following as my dissertation on facebook:

Many, many moons ago, in the age of MySpace, we were able to arrange and re-arrange “The Elite 8”. I bump up or down this lineup was watched and commentated on throughout pop culture. It was a “thing”. As we moved from High School MySpace to the thing all the college kids were doing on the facebook campus. We start friending everyone when we first got there as freshmen. We friended people we met through a friend of a friend at the bar even as sophomores. We started to realize that the more “friends” we added, the more platforms and pedestals we provided. It wasn’t until we were upper class-man that we started to add our family. In giving everyone a platform, we got to see the deepest and also, unfortunately, the darkest parts of their hearts. It hasn’t always been pretty, but the grotesque should not make us look away. We must brave on and look at the carnage the generations before us left behind. Never before had it been put on such vast display, not only for everyone to see, but to others to comment. This gave us the deepest look into the mind of human kind and, man …spoiler alert:… WE’RE FUCKED UP! BUT, the most brutiful part is that in friending our family members, we found our tribe. The people who communicate love in our language. Our tribe can consist of whoever the hell we want. We can still be family, without being friends and we can be friends who become family. That’s our tribe and we get to connect to it, wherever in the world we may be, whenever our tribe is needed.

Thank you, for the wake up call, Mr. Zuckerberg. From this point forward, l shall be using facebook for this purpose alone. #dailywakeupcallfromsteph

I hereby request to be permitted to graduate and henceforth be known as:

Dr. Stephanie Quinzel

IT IS SO ORDERED.

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Mark M. Zuckerberg, Fouder, facebook