Letters I meant to send

Dear man who denied me, 

I won’t take it personally. My rational self is happy and grateful to have met you. You enriched my life in some wonderful ways and I learnt a lot about myself from you. I respect that the connection between us wasn’t so strong and that’s okay. I will not feel rejected. It was good while it lasted. I respect and understand that it’s okay for you not to want me forever. Maybe I should consider that I didn’t want you forever either.I need to work on myself now—that was my plan all along. Thank you for the good times we shared. Thank you for reminding me I’m attractive and interesting and that I don’t need you or anyone else to make me feel this way. I need to work on feeling this on my own, because I value myself.
Thank you for forcing me to harmonise my inner conflict.
Now, I let you go with peace and love.

Altschmerz

n. weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had—the same boring flaws and anxieties you’ve been gnawing on for years, which leaves them soggy and tasteless and inert, with nothing interesting left to think about, nothing left to do but spit them out and wander off to the backyard, ready to dig up some fresher pain you might have buried long ago.