I went back to the gym today for the first time in almost a month. I had a lot of reasons why I could have let another day pass, but I went. I did it.
Even had that brief moment when the endorphins kicked in and I felt all euphoric. I smiled as I jogged on the dreadmill and looked out on a dreary day, thinking of what it would be like if my body would cooperate with me like this on a daily basis. How good would feel when the weather breaks and I can go for a jog outside. I imagined my hair piled up in a tight ponytail bobbing back and forth quaintly. The sun soaking my skin. The breeze hitting my bare skin as I galavant down a trail. I daydreamed of blue skies with puffy clouds, green grass, birds tweeting and little furry creatures scurrying about. Music blaring in my headphones. A good tune with good stride.
And then it all came to screeching halt as the pain my lower back shot through my right hip and down through my knee. This is what has caused me to stay out of the gym to begin with. It’s an old injury, a herniated disc that actually got flared up when I ended up in the hospital last month, which was followed by a flare up of my gastroparesis. This meant I spent a lot of time laying around and there is nothing worse for a herniated disc than being in one position for an extended period of time and once it gets flared up, any position becomes pretty much unbearable. I can’t sit too long. I can’t stand too long. It’s stupid.
Thankfully, the solution is usually pretty simple. Well, as simple as having an epidural injection in your spine as compared to say … surgery. Now, it’s just a matter of time. Waiting for the doctor to get approval from the insurance company and scheduling the procedure.
But Im frustrated. I have to listen to my body and it is screaming obscenities at me right now.