Letters I meant to send

Dear Blank,

Last week I came across a picture that reminded me of you. It brought me to tears and ripped open a wound. It hurt thinking of the way things are between us now. But this morning as I was donning a sacrament we share, it occurred to me that we didn’t really. WE haven’t shared things for a really long time. I have. I have tried to share. I have tried to reach out. I have more than met you halfway. I’ve picked up the tab. I’ve tried. And for someone who constantly looks around and passes judgment on others for their lack of effort in maintaining relationships, you really should stop and take a look at yourself. I dont do things because I expect anything in return. That’s not what this is about. Im just saying that if you’re always measuring people up where the hell was your ruler when it came to me? Because if you were paying any attention to what I did, especially in contrast to your lack of doing, I not only met the bar, but surpassed you. Not only did I not get any credit, but you tossed me aside without pause. Who does that? Exactly who do you think you are? Relationships are two way streets, give and take. Who do I have to be to warrant reciprocity? Obviously, Im not enough and nothing I did or do will be either. So why should I care?

I have no idea.

If anyone is owed an apology it is I, but I don’t require one. Because I love you and I forgive you. I dont care to measure or keep score. That’s how love works.  

Love Always,

Stephanie

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