It is Valentine’s Day and Jer and I will be attending a marriage seminar at a local church all day. I don’t know what it will have to offer us that we don’t already know or want but Im going in with an open mind and heart, hoping to come away with some tools for a tune up.
People often say marriage is hard but they seldom tell you why. Its hard because in order for a marriage to really stand a chance you have to constantly consider your partners needs which goes against all our basic instincts for survival. What makes it harder is being able to trust your partner to do the same. It may sound as simple as “you scratch my back and Ill scratch yours”, but its not. Its about selflessness, vulnerability and trust. Im pretty certain that everyone reading this struggles with at least one, if not all, of those attributes alone, much less in practice with another human.
I have the hardest time wrapping my brain around those concepts to the point that I doubt the possibility of it really existing, until I think of my children. When I think of them I know beyond a shadow of doubt that you can act selflessly. I recognize the vulnerability every day when they leave my shelter. It’s like letting your heart or piece of your soul walk around outside your body. You trust that it will return. It has to.
When it comes to my husband, who is capable of scratching back though, the doubt creeps in. The trust frays. I struggle to let my guard down. Id rather scratch my own back sometimes.
And so we’ll shuffle our sinner shoes and come to Jesus on Saint Valentine’s Day and try looking through different perspectacles, lens that may help us see this all through a different perspective, sans the rose color. If that doesn’t help gain stronger footing, we’ll dig into the very foundation we stand upon to see what could be the underlying cause for the wobble and sway.
Send your thoughts, love and prayers our way. We need them.