Hyper Sexual Women and Mental Illness

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I have a hyper sex drive. I’ve had it since before puberty. That might seem strange but I can remember having sexual longing as far back as eight or nine years old. I can remember “making out” with girl friends at that age. It wasn’t until I had kids of my own that I had the slightest hint that this may have been abnormal.

After hearing too many stories of child sexual abuse, I began to wonder if something had happened to me as a child that I was suppressing. Then just over the weekend I was watching ‘Dirty Dancing’ and remembered that I had seen it around the same age. My older cousin had conned our naive grandfather into buying our tickets. When I remembered that, I thought, “OhMyGAWD! This is what has been wrong with me my whole life. This movie ruined me!” The dancing, romancing bad boys who were best is bed, the “Nobody puts Baby in the corner” rescue. AHA! This was it!

I began talking to my friends about this theory, to which most agreed that movies have set us up with unrealistic expectations in our relationships. When I explained that I thought my exposure to this specific film at such a young age may have made me hyper sexual and voiced my sexual frustration, I was looked at like an alien. In all of their marriages their husbands are sexually frustrated and they have little to no interest in sex. That didn’t make me feel better.

Upon further examination I realized that while I do have a few other friends who can relate to being hyper sexual, as Im calling it, all of us had one thing in common: mental illness. Diagnosed or not, it was the only common denominator we shared. Except for me, all the others were also victims of child sex abuse.

I just finished a short conversation on this topic with the friend I can share anything with and vice versa. She told me this is probably the number one issue she’s had in every single relationship. Even going in if she says “I have a REALLY high sex drive”, they always say the same thing “Me too, I know what you mean, that’s awesome” and EVERY SINGLE TIME they get annoyed with her because she wants sex all the time. It becomes an issue and they feel emasculated and it usually spirals from there.

So I can conclude that it is normal to have these feelings for any woman with a mental illness and to be a normal woman … sexual suppression and lack of interest?

What then of men and their sexual appetite? Why does it mean there’s a problem when a dude has no sex drive?

Is it just me or is that a double standard?

Is it just a double standard though?
OR Is there a connection between hyper sexual women and mental illness?

6 thoughts on “Hyper Sexual Women and Mental Illness

  1. I don’t know but for me it was all the stupid romance novels my mom let me read. I am still not sure if it was about sex or just needing love. I was never very happy in either direction!

    • Romance novels and movies definitely set us up for disappointment. It took me a loooooong time to figure out that really loving someone and letting them love you is more about bearing your flaws and being vulnerable to one another than sex. And if you can do it, it makes the sex ah-mazing! 😉

  2. I am also hyper sexual. I took it out on men during my stripping years. I ruined marriages because I hated men. I’ve learned and am better now and no longer need that power over men. It’s fun to toy with them still but ruin them? Not anymore.

    Oh gawd yup abuse. But explain my wife Sarah with no abuse and no mental illness and a similar hyper sexual appetite. I don’t care what men think of my sexual appetite. I was called a slut in HS because I had a child. No one bothered to find out the child was conceived in rape and I wasn’t a slut but a hero. So I kind of became the slut. It was easier the names stopped and the sex wasn’t bad.

    Though I made them wear rubbers. And the ones who refused? Sorry the legs are closed for business have fun with your hand, good night….NEXT!

    Today I’m not the slut except for my wife and our BF. But that too has taken a while.

    • I am married but also have my husband’s blessing to venture outside those boundaries on the basis of honesty, although I hold different perimeters to him. I never have ventured outside our sexual relationship but definitely go through periods when I am compelled to. Typically, I’ll find another outlet for the compulsion, like excessive exercise or I’ve just been a serial monogamist who keeps her partner very well pleased, which is probably the only reason I can still count my sexual partners on one hand.

  3. Pingback: My Teenage Self | Stephieopolis

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