Lately it seems that there is a rash of men going around telling single ladies, when asked why they never called, after having sex with them and even being caught in a lie involving another woman, that the reasoning for all of this is “you’re intimidating”.
As a married woman, an outsider looking in if you will, I call BULLSHIT.
Sure, a guy can be intimidated by a woman. Not in the same sense you are afraid for your physical well being when a sterotypical, tattooey, biker type with a meth habit approaches you in a dark alley, but in a “she’s out of my league” way. However, in that scenario let’s face it, you probably never gave the guy your number, surely didn’t sleep with him and if he didn’t think he was good enough for you, he didn’t think he could handle you AND some other chic.
This is my theory: it may be that you’re “headstrong”, “know what you want”, “too smart”, “make more money” or more “experienced” than he is, if you know what I mean, but usually it means that you’re not, as they used to say, “the kind of girl you take home to mother”.
In my experience my friends who get this ” intimidation” schpel the most are the ones who like to go to bars, drink, are very loud, very opinionated, very happy to share their opinions…loudly, and very comfortable with their sexuality. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that and ladies, the right guy will love you just the way you are. I love you just the way you are.
BUT what I’m trying to say is that you have to realize this intimidation line is bullshit, that the guys who are telling you this are total douchelords and you can do better OR you have to take it down a notch so he can get to know YOU you and not OUT you.
My advice, if you want it, is to NEVER meet up or go home with any guy at the bar/club. No! NEVER! And don’t have any kind of sex with someone whose been around for a shorter amount of time than your toothbrush.
Look, you would not pick up a toothbrush at the bar and put it in your mouth or vagina for that matter. You dont want to use somebody else’s toothbrush – gross! You want to know where your toothbrush came from. I dont like cheap, $1 store toothbrushes. Why? Because you have to replace them sooner. Theyre not reliable. I dont want a travel brush at home.
Ladies! You need to know things, first! This will save you so much trouble.
The truth is you are not intimidating…this is just another tactic for a guy to avoid accountability but not hurt your feelings. It’s a variation of ” it’s not you, it’s me” or “hes just not that into you” but more vague and more confusing because it can make you feel like you’re a scary Amazonian ogre or something. You just may be too much for a guy to handle all at once.
Like, whoa. Pump the breaks.
These are men we’re talking about.
And if it’s a man you want, there’s lots of them out there. If you don’t want to deal with scrubs ( no job, no car, lives at home wit yo momma) – DON’T. You know better. Its that simple. If you can’t handle baby momma drama – DON’T. If he just got out of a relationship, go even slloooowwwer. Relax. Red hot passion may sell books and movie tickets, but its just as fleeting as the dialogue. You need substance to have a relationship. Be friends first. You should be able to sit at a table and drink a cup of coffee, have a good conversation and feel absolutely no awkwardness before you progress to romance. Its not old fashioned, it’s really coomon sense and the best way to respect and stay true to yourself.
And fellas, enough with this line. Its played out and makes no sense. Be honest. Keep it real. You’ll find you get just as far. We can handle it. And should you encounter a woman who can’t handle it and starts to lose her cool and becomes all, you know, intimidating? Then and only then are you permitted to use this fallback.