Small Fiber Neuropathy May Cause Fibromyalgia Pain

When a doctor tried to diagnosis me with fibromyalgia years before all this other autoimmune crap started, I thought ‘Great. Now I have a fake disorder. This will go perfectly with my being crazy and all.’

However, having learned more and more about fibro over the years and having had a lengthy conversation with my optho/neurologist today about this very theory, these findings are VERY interesting.
Small Fiber Neuropathy May Cause Fibromyalgia Pain

Forgiveness

It’s interesting that this would cross my path today.

I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness.

What exactly does it mean? What would it look like? Can you forgive someone whom you fear? Can you forgive someone for continuing to drag you through the mud?

I realize that in being angry I am just poisoning myself and expecting it to effect the other person…

I guess maybe forgiveness is just giving up the right… or expectation of an apology.

You know, really, the bottom line is that everything that happened led me to everything I have and am today and I am blessed.

From that perspective, forgiveness comes easily.

I think I’m finally there.

The ‘Know It All’

Today my housemate’s Mom told her that she had a vision about me. She said she knows what’s wrong with me.

Apparently, my tattoos are causing my autoimmune issues. She looked it up on the internet, clearly the most reliable of sources. Everybody knows that everything on the internet is true! (sarcasm) I get that people without tattoos do not understand people with tattoos sometimes, but guess what? I don’t care if you understand and I don’t care if you approve. I can assuredly guarantee that I will not be concerning myself as to why she doesn’t have any. Normally, this would not bother me at all. My grandmother doesn’t like my tattoos. Fine by me.

But this is why I’m so irritated:

1. She’s bat shit crazy. That’s fine by me, but get some therapy or take some meds to help with the chemical imbalance so that you don’t keep spreading crazy around. This is the whole reason why her daughter and granddaughter are living with me.

2. She hates tattoos. She thinks they’re trashy.

3. I have 4 tattoos. All after the medical issues began. They have really been symbolic to my journey and have helped me heal a great deal of emotional wounds.
One specifically is my self harm insurance policy. It’s next to a scar. It reminds why I will never need to do it again.

And about a week ago there was a whole other incident in which she revealed her wicked witch persona and accidentally made an ass of herself in front of myself, my husband and children. Then she made the mistake of trying to excuse her behavior by blaming my friend and when I politely pointed out the flaws in her argument, she decided to attack me personally and since she didn’t have anything to point out that I had done to her, she’s now trying to make a character flaw out of my uncontrollable medical circumstances and then also decided to blame my tattoos because that too is something she deems as a character flaw.

This woman irritates the piss out of me because she is downright emotionally abusive to my friend that is living with us. In fact, she’s the reason why she’s living with us. The emotional and verbal abuse was so bad that it was toxic to my friend and her daughter and when she realized that I had offered to take her in, she evicted her own daughter and granddaughter a week before Christmas.

Clearly, I am the bad guy here.

My newest and dearest ink

The Japanese refer to sakura (cherry blossoms) as a symbol of life.

After their too-short bloom, the cherry blossom falls to the ground and is scattered about by wind and rain. It is in this life cycle that their blossoms become truly anticipated and appreciated for all their beauty. Similar to their Japanese association, cherry blossoms serve as a symbol of love in the Chinese culture thanks to their herbal lore.

In addition to Japanese and Chinese roots, the cherry blossom also lives a path of enlightenment thanks to Buddhist beliefs.

Existing only in the present moment has long been the basis of Buddhist beliefs along with the daily reminder that we are here but only for a short time. Much like the cherry blossom. life is short and sweet. These flowers can also represent wisdom. Only once the blossoms begin to open and unfold is the beauty of the flower revealed.

Thoughts on parenting

I generally am of the belief that parenting is not a spectator sport. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa.

Sure, I’ll offer what has worked for me in a similar situation but I take no offense as to whether you take it or leave it.

This is completely different from judgment. We really have no right to judge other parents.

Moms, worry about your own kids!

Breastfeeding, schooling, discipline, bedtime, viewing material, working vs. stay at home, organic foods, hair color, makeup, music, vegan, clothes,religion, etc, etc…just mind your own damn business and accept that just because someone chooses to take a different path than you, doesn’t make it wrong. Stop being bullies!

If you’re wondering where kids are getting this stuff from, HELLO?!?it’s parents who are voicing their degrading judgments about other people in their lives. Shut up!

The only exception to this rule about not interfering is abuse.

No, not putting socks on a baby when its snowing outside is not abuse.

Allowing a child to go to school without their coat and not swooping in to drop it off and bundle them all snug as bug…is not abuse AND guess what? The kid might actually learn to problem solve on their own instead being an entitled shit!

I’m not talking about spanking. I’m talking about ABUSE.

If you are abusing your child, physically, verbally or emotionally, in my presence, not only will I judge you, I will confront you. Because if you think its ok to abuse your child, toddler to grown adult, in the presence of others, I GUARANTEE that you are doing far worse behind closed doors. I will not mince words and there will be no passive aggressive bullshit. You will know, that I know exactly what you are doing and that it is NOT ok.