I started DBT today, but only made to the last processing hour of the day. I ended up having to talk to a psych nurse for the last 2 hours discussing my reasons for being there. Not much to say about that that hasn’t already been said here though.
My Jedi saw Gino today for the first time since … well, since the decline started. I guess if I’m honest he’s been a decline since January.
This is where I get fucked up about shit. This is that part that boggles my mind. IF there is a God, no, I believe there is a God. That is not the problem. The problem is that if God is so loving and merciful, how exactly does this happen to a child. I understand that I can’t blame God for this. I believe there is as much evil in the world working to destroy us as there is good, if not more. I suppose just as there is a leader/ruler fo the good/peaceful/light side, there must then be an equal of ruling the bad/evil/dark side. Yes, just like Star Wars.
I only bring that up in the of the entry because Gino has always been “Jedi Gino” to me and everybody in the community and he is a whole force to be reckoned with. Such a spit fire and Jedi Gino has one I the best laughs I have ever heard.
So what’s plaguing me here is: Why God doesn’t intervene on his behalf? That’s what gets me fucked up. NO MOTHER should bear the weight of the loss of a child. It’s cruel. What’s more cruel is that not only does this child have to suffer, and there is no doubt he has, it’s an unimaginable suffering for anyone, much less a child. But last September, this child, this mother, this family was relieved to know that the cancer was hone. Jedi Gino has defeated the evil, merciless cancer he nicknamed “General Grievous”. BUT it came back, with vengeance and has totally ravaged his little body.
My Jedi, Gino’s best friend, finally got to sit with him today for the first time since not only his “Make A Wish” trip to Disney and the beach, but also 3 brain surgeries. He hardly resembled anyone we know but my Jedi was unphased. To him it’s his best friend through and through.
His Mom was so moved by Jedi’s actions and was brought to tears when she saw Gino responding to his mere presence. Gino even had the willpower to stay out of his room, awake, smiling and even laughing. What a gift Jedi gave to not only Gino, but his mother and whole family.
Words cannot express my pride. What an amazing kid.