Never is a Promise and I’ll never need a lie.

Today would’ve been my 9th wedding anniversary to my exhusband, a fact that seems to be weighing on his mind if his text messages are any indication. He speaks of vows. Something he never valued previously. I’m frustrated by the interruption to a life I’ve had to put back together from pieces.

Couldn’t find my own words, but these lyrics have always said it best. If you understand, more power to you. If you don’t, I don’t care to offer any further explaination or dedication of time to this subject.

You’ll never see
The courage I know
Its colors’ richness 
Won’t appear within your view
I’ll never glow, 
The way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgments made on you

But as the scenery grows, 
I see in different lights
The shades and shadows 
Undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch
I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still to proud to mention
-to you

You’ll say you understand
But you don’t understand
You’ll say you’d never give up
Seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise
And you can’t afford to lie

You’ll never touch
These things that I hold
The skin of my emotions
Lies beneath my own
You’ll never feel
The heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I’ve ever shown
To you

You’ll say don’t fear your dreams
It’s easier than it seems
You’ll say you’d never let me fall
From hopes so high
But never is a promise
And you can’t afford to lie

You’ll never live the life that I live
I’ll never live the life
That wakes me in the night
You’ll never hear the message I give
You’ll say it looks as though I might
Give up this fight

But as the scenery grows, 
I see in different lights
The shades and shadows
Undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch
I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention
To you

You’ll say you understand,
You’ll never understand
I’ll say I’ll never wake up 
Knowing how or why
I don’t know what to believe in
You don’t know who I am
You’ll say I need appeasing 
When I start to cry
But never is a promise
And I’ll never need a lie

5 thoughts on “Never is a Promise and I’ll never need a lie.

  1. Okay, I’m gonna get a little vulgar here so you’re forewarned. I don’t think you’ll mind.Man, Steph, FUCK HIM.  Fuck him and his stupid, cowardly jack-off ways.  I remember how messed up you were.  I remember you trying to keep stuff together.  I remember you doing any and everything you could to help and when it didn’t work you did what you had to do to keep your family whole.  You are an amazing person and I’m GLAD that he feels regret.  He should regret.  And he should regret every second he’s missed of his children’s lives because he’s a DOUCHE BAG. You came out, girl.  You won.  You’re happy.  And your happiness is the very best revenge in the whole wide world.  And I am happy for you. So happy.  So let me know when the anniversary of your divorce is and we’ll have some sort of internet celebration or something. 🙂 Because that’s a day to be joyous of.  ❤

  2. it goes with most that after we’ve destroyed everything, we finally know what blessings we’ve had. i’ll give him credit. at least, it sounds like he’s woken up. but life goes on, and it doesn’t stop for sentimentality. you’ve gone through your own awakening, and you’ve got a new life to lead. keep up the good work. …and if i haven’t mentioned it, thank you for introducing me to that Keane song. as you can see, it will always resonate with me in some way…

  3. @ThePrince – I wouldn’t give him credit. He’s always been able to be nostalgic, but genuine is less likely. The Keane song you speak of, often pops up as my profile song on social networks. Because it resonates with you, I know that you get me on a different level. And you’re welcome. I find that when you find a song that places its finger on a feeling you keep, even if the song is sad…it’s uplifting, cause somebody gets it.

  4. I felt sad reading about this 9th anniversary. I am 76 and have seen so much heartache in many marriages. There are dear friends of mine that divorce and some on the Internet I know that are in the process of divorcing now. I stay non-committal since I cannot know all the details, but just try to listen. I think your ex is like the 60% who divorce, but later wished that they had tried hard to save it. It is usually to little too late. I am just sorry you had to go through that and the tough times that followed. It is all so unfair.Anyway, nice meeting you.I see your dream vacation is Hawaii. My wife and I have been there many times. She has been there about20 times and me 10. During my career, I would send her to Hawaii so I could concentrate on corporate demands.Take care,frank

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s