The past couple weeks have been rough.
Jedi ended up with a concussion from his accident, I exchanged heated words with my ex- MIL, Jedi and Diva came down with bronchitis, I got some weird cold/bug, my drains in the basement starting backing up, my TV took a dump, etc, etc, etc…
Lets just focus on one thing: I have to vent about this ex-MIL thing.
She actually had the audacity to accuse me of keeping the kids away from El Chuba and her and told me what a horrible human being that made me. I. Am. HEATED.
First and foremost, it’s not true. He has supervised visits and he has refused to take them because he won’t “pay” to see his children. (i.e. he has to pay a social worker to be there with him) Nevermind that this was absolutely NOT what I wanted, but the only choice left with to protect the children, after he flat out refused to cooperate as Court ORDERED. This is a Court thing, not a ME thing.
THIS coming from a woman, who strategically kept ElChuba’s biological father away from him 30 YEARS!!! Not for any good reason, except that she slept with one man and got pregnant while she was “on a break” from another man and then decided to leave the country with the other man, making ElChuba believe he was his father for years while he horrifically abused him and all the while, there was this other man, his REAL FATHER, who maybe, could have done better, but we’ll never know. (severe eyeroll) And this is also the woman who split up her current husband’s family when she had an affair with him, and they ran away together, leaving his ex-wife and own child high and dry while she got him to adopt her three boys, all by different fathers. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
I also just recalled how she said once, about ElChuba’s ex-wife/Pickle’s egg donor: “She keeps telling people he is keeping her from Pickle, but I can tell you as a parent, there isn’t ANYTHING that could keep you from your child. you’d move heaven and Earth if you had to.”
Well, my how our opinions are so easily turned for convenience.
And the worst part, is that she doesn’t even see how all the shitty decisions she made play into the “man” ElChuba has become. Why he is so paranoid, why he doesn’t love himself, why he lies to get approval. It’s just sad.
So after all these realizations… I’ve finally reached the point where I genuinely don’t give a shit what she says or thinks.
Then, somehow, after pointing out all of the holes in her and ElChuba’s story, he finally came up with the money to have supervised visits with the kids. Isn’t it ironic? Doncha think?
He actually called the kids and played up his current martyr status, by saying, “I told you Daddy wouldn’t give up.” Then he got on the phone with me and told me how much he missed the kids and how unfair all of this has been TO HIM. And how he needs to see his kids to keep him grounded. Which I am sure is code for …I’m drinking like a fish and need to play up the victim role and use this situation as my excuse to drink more.
Unfair to him? What about the kids? If anyone is a victim in all this, it’s them! And if anyone’s a martyr, it’s me. But I don’t want to be a martyr and I don’t want my kids to be victims.
We’ll be survivors THANK YOU VERY MUCH and no matter what anybody else does or says, we’re all going to be just fine.This is what grown ups are supposed to do instead of pointing fingers. This is how you make things happen.
Case in point:
Jer got a promotion and a raise at work this week, I got a raise and a side business investment offer from my BIG boss who is VERY impressed with me. We got a new 42″ flat panel TV, I got the drains fixed in the basement for a bargain, and I finally got my ass out of that shitter of a car ElChuba left me with so he could get his Jeep and got back the car I really wanted……….
The 2007 Chevy Equinox, in my own name, no co-signer.
Maybe it’s a little vain, but really it feels good to have replaced the 42″ plasma he had to take with him with a better one, that Jer valued my opinion in picking out and to get out from under that car deal that I felt so screwed over about, all on my own, and into something better.
It feels really good.