Last post. 8/8/07

This will be my last post for awhile. I need a sabbatical.

There used to be a time when I needed this space for validation. I could use this space as a place to put things that I needed to get out of my head and heart and have my friends and family be supportive without me having to live it over and over again. It gave me the ability to put bad days behind me and focus more on the good days. But I can’t anymore.
I’ve been persecuted for my words and mocked for my thoughts and feelings. I’ve been called a liar and then in the same breath Ive actually been told that my words have the power over someone else’s relationship. Yeh, it’s all me. I’m just that good.
As with most everything else in my life, this space has now been tainted by someone’s desperation to control me and shut me up so that they may continue to live a lie.

Because I no longer care what people think, because I don’t feel the need to explain myself, because I don’t feel the need to make anybody understand, because I don’t feel as if I need to be validated anymore, because I know the truth and that’s all that matters to me, because I’m ready to leave this all behind me, because I love to prove a point … this site will remain.

For everyone here that has seen me through so much over the last two years, to my family and friends – thank-you, sincerely.

After a while

After a while you learn

the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

A poem by: Veronica A. Shoffstall