It just keeps getting better…and by better, I mean worse

The Pickle had counseling this afternoon. When his counselor talked to him about what happened last week with his brother and sister at ElChuba’s house (whole other story) something had come up about PlayDoh (obviously not his real name, but, Stankcy’s son) exposing himself.. Pickle not only told her about that, but also told her that PlayDoh asked him to “touch his privates“. She called me on my cell phone on my way home from work and relayed this information to me and told me she was going to call ElChuba and that she was going to call Child Protective Services. She advised me to do the same.   

When I got home, still in a state of shock, I talked to Jer. He decided we should sit down with the kids and talk to them about good secrets and bad secrets and good touching and bad touching while being very careful not to lead. I explained to them again that anything under their bathing suit is only for them, mommy or daddy or a doctor to see. I talked about how to keep themselves safe and how to go to a grown up. Sure as shit, Pickle starts talking. He said PlayDoh showed him his privates “like every time I see him.” Then Jedi  added on that PlayDoh always wants to play the girlfriend game. When I asked what the girlfriend game was, Pickle said “you know, like what boys do with girlfriends.” I asked him what he meant. Jedi said that Play told him to get on top of him, like a girlfriend. I asked them if Diva had ever played the girlfriend game. They both said no. I asked where she was when this happened and they said “In Em’s room, doing girl stuff like they always do.” I asked where  ElChuba was and Pickle said he and Stankcy were in the bedroom with the door locked.  I asked them to explain what happened again and it was explained exactly the same way. I asked him if he’d ever told ElChuba and he said “just the time on the phone, and he told me not to blame other people”. I asked why they hadn’t told me and Pickle said he was scared I would be mad at Daddy. I told him I wasn’t mad at Daddy, or them or even PlayDoh. I just wanted everyone to be safe and that it makes me sad to think they’re not safe. Pickle said he was sorry that had happened and that I was sad. I told him it wasn’t his fault and that we would figure out a plan to keep them safe. Then he said “I have one more secret I didn’t say”. Jedi said, “Yeh and he made us watch a naked movie”. I asked Pickle if he knew what he was talking about and he said, “A movie on TV, a girl was naked and you could see her boobs and belly and her you know, down there and she was dancing and the TV was fuzzy, like it wasn’t working“. Jer told him he knew what he was talking about. Pickle went on to say that PlayDoh kept turning it on and laughing and telling him to look. I asked him again where was Daddy? And he said, “I don’t know he’s always doing something with Stankcy.

Then Pickle said what I didn’t want to hear most of all, that all this stuff made him think about Robin (his half brother who sexually assaulted him when he was a toddler) and that made him sad. I gave him a hug and told him I would figure out what to do, not to worry  and that I wanted him, Jedi, Diva, and any other kids to be safe. I told them both that I loved them. I told them that I didn’t want them to keep secrets and that they could always come to me and talk to me about anything and their Dad too. I asked why he didn’t just tell his Dad and he threw his hands in the air and said, “cause he’s always yelling at me

I called Child Protective Services and relayed all this information to them. I asked if there was anything else I could do. They told me I needed to contact my attorney ASAP in order to have something done regarding visitations, because they couldn’t tell me to stop something in a court order and also said I could file a police report, but I would have to do it in the city ElChuba lived in, where this occurred. So, I called the police department and talked to Officer M.  After I explained all this to him, he was concerned. He decided to give both county Child Protective Services a call himself and didn’t really get any where. He called me back and told me he had even called my City Police to make them aware of the situation, because of concerns re: visitation.  Where that was concerned, he told me I shouldn’t let them go. He was pretty assertive about this and told me, I could tell my attorney and the judge, he said they shouldn’t go. He said in order to have an official report, he wanted me to come down to the station tomorrow during the day when a detective was available.

I did call ElChuba and tell him about all this. He just sat there. Seriously, I don’t know what’s worse; that this is happening, or that their father could give a shit that it’s happening. But, he told me he would talk to Stankcy and PlayDoh. He called me back about an hour later and was a completely different person. He had this self-righteous tone. He told me PlayDoh had a different story. He asked why an 11 year old wouldn’t come tell his father, if he didn’t do anything wrong. He told me that I needed to look at the whole picture and realize they were only saying this because they had gotten in trouble last week and were trying to blame someone else. This whole elaborate, very detailed story??? But it gets better, then he tried to say that he was more concerned about what was going on in my house, because it seems these problems didn’t start until Jer moved in. He actually asked if Jer has exposed himself to the kids or if they have seen us having sex. what. The. FUCK!?!

He said “two can play at this game” and told me he would be calling Child Protective Services with his concerns about what was going on here in order to keep his kids safe.


Now, on top of worrying about what has happened to the kids, I absolutely know he has no interest in protecting THEM and I have to go explain to Jer that my El Chupa is throwing around questions about him exposing himself to the kids.

4 thoughts on “It just keeps getting better…and by better, I mean worse

  1. Oh my goodness.
    This is just not right. Who is this person anyhow that is doing this.
    I was thinking of you..I read your post early this morning.
    You are a wonderful mother. I hope that things are resolved fast.
    Your ex makes me angry. He is so childish . He needs to step up to the plate and stop making excuses and trying to blame YOU all the time.


  2. omg this is HORRIBLE. This is one of my greatest fears as a parent, that something like this would happen. I am so so sorry you have to deal with this. I would rather have to deal with my totally fucked up current situation than what you are dealing with right now. Please let me know if i can help in anyway. Keep us updated.

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