Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

I’ve spent the last two days running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Filling out paperwork for work, for daycare, for school. It’s been a whirlwind.

In the midst of this it struck me that I was going to have to tell the El Chupa Douchebag about my new job and about the daycare because he is required to pay 1/2 the child care costs. So, I since I never TELL him anything, I wrote him a nice letter telling him I start on the 1st, where I had enrolled the kids, what the cost was and what he was responsible for. I also told him that I hoped it would help him be more consistent with the kids visitations, since he could just pick them up from daycare and wouldn’t have to bother with an escort or witness and the center is a little closer to him as well, which will save him gas.

His response? He calls me, while he has the kids for visitation to tell me that he wasn’t paying for anything until it was worked out in court and that since the restraining order only specifies that he can pick the kids up here at 5:30pm, that’s what he would do and if I wasn’t here with them he would just go to the police. No, it’s not a typo – that’s really what he said.  I tried explaining to him that our divorce decree provides that he is required to pay for half of childcare costs, and he said the whole things is too vague and works to my favor.  I said that it was the agreement we both reviewed and signed together. Then I tried explaining that the restraining order doesn’t include the kids, that they are not listed as protected persons, and that the only reason it says anything about picking them up and dropping them off here, was because I made that exception for him and them, because otherwise he wouldn’t be allowed on the premises. Of course, he won’t listen, because he’d rather make things difficult. He kept insisting he wasn’t allowed to pick them up and he refused to make any other arrangements.

So I  asked him, “What are you gonna do then, miss all your visitations with the kids, cause there’s no way I’ll be here by 5:30? I’m trying to make other arrangements.”

and he said, “No, I’ll be where I’m supposed to be.”

What a fucktard. (severe eyeroll)

I told him several times that he was misinterpting the restraining order and that the kids were only included in it BEFORE there were other measures in place with our Shared Parenting Plan and since that was the most recent thing on file…that’s what he’s entitled to. I told him he know in his heart that I would never call the cops on him for spending time with his kids.

I told him that I thought he should call his attorney in the morning and that I was sure he/she could help him better understand his rights and obligations. He said he would just go to the police or the court. He really wasn’t making any sense to be honest. I told him that he only had so much time with his kids and that he should spend it with them. He hung up on me only to call me back 30 minutes later, to go and on and on about the same things. Asking how I could expect him to come with an extra $150 by June 1st for their daycare? I told him I would go ahead and pay it, but he would need to pay it back to me by the 15th. He refused. He asked me how I could expect him to pay this on top of his child support and that child support needed to be adjusted. When I told him I had used the same child support calculator he had before ( and it worked out to be about the same. He started asking me why he should even work, all he does is give it to me. I told him it wasn’t me. It was for his children and that as their father he should want to take care of them. Then he asked why I would work if it was all the same.  Asked me how I could make such big decisions without consulting him? How this wasn’t in their best interest. I said considering he had theatened to not give me another dime in child support, I thought it was in the kids best interest to circumvent any financials problems that would cause and get a job to keep a roof over their head.

Stankcy was running her mouth in the background about his driving here and back with the kids, and how gas is $3.50 per a gallon. And finally, I just told him to tell her to shut-up. He said he didn’t appreciate that. I told him I didn’t care what he appreciated and she needed to shut up and mind her own business, she has her own ex husband to worry about. So of course, he makes a point to tell her, she says something about how mature I am, which is rich considering who she’s relaying it through. Laughable really. He says something about me being a hillbilly, something else about gas prices and then he hung up on me, but I’m immature. What did I do? Let it go. He had the kids for visitation for God’s sake. Spemd your time with your babies, dude. Isn’t this why we got divorced? He can just be with them and not me?

The kicker?

When the kids get home from visitation…the first thing Pickle says when he walks in the door is …. “I can’t take it anymore, all he talks about is you and money! He says you take all of his money, not half of it.” SO, not only do I have to hear it from him, I’m hearing it from my kid all over again??

I just told him, “Babe, the court decides about the money, not me, not your him… they say what they think he should pay to take care of you guys based on laws. That’s how it works. He shouldn’t be talking to you about that. Just don’t worry about it.”

I tried to change the subject and asked about snack, I asked if they had one already and Pickle says, “No and I’ll give you one guess why? Money” Then in a mocking tone, imitating his Dad he said, “I don’t have money for snack, Mommy has it all. I have to buy gas, blah blah blah” He threw his hands in the air and said “It’s baloney

It was almost comical if it wasn’t so damn sad that he was having these conversations about grown up problems with little kids. I told him if I ever said anything like that he could tell me to stop. This is the part where he told me it embarassed him when he talked about me and the money stuff like that. He said he thinks all El Chupa cares about is being mad and having money. He said he doesn’t want to go over there anymore, because he doesn’t want to listen to him. I almost cried. It hurt me so bad to hear him say that. I had never thought of that before… I mean, I knew it was stuff he shouldn’t be talking to him about, but it never even occured to me how embarassing it must be to have his Dad make such a big deal out the money he provides to take care of him or what he says about ME in front of other people.

I don’t know how I survived 6 years of marriage to that incompetent, selfish bastard.
I can’t do anything right no matter what I do. If I stay home, I’m a lazy ass, if I go to work, I’m inconvenienceing him.

4 thoughts on “Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

  1. I think he’s really overwhelmed with… something. Perhaps he’s lost without your guidance that he had during your marriage. And I would venture to guess that you did more of a parental figure in the kids’ lives than he was, during your marriage. It sounds like he’s uncomfortable with, and doesn’t know how to deal with, the role of being a father.

  2. Wow… I don’t know how you survived either. I’m so proud of your strength though. It’s amazing how you are able to handle this and not completely collapse and melt and fall apart. I think I might have by now.

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