Ugh

I ended up in the emergency room with Jedi Monday. He was still complaining of terrible pain in his head and running a fever. With dread in my heart, not wanting to deal with anything more, but because I had to by Court order, I called and left the El Chupa Douchebag a message. When we were leaving the ER I called and let him know the doctor’s diagnosis but he seemed more concerned with painting my PCP as incompetent for not finding his sinus infection than he actually was about listening to me tell him we needed to document things and try and figure out what keeps causing these chronic sinus infections.
That night when he called to tell the kids good-night, I overheard him asking Pickle if he had been mad at him and didn’t want to talk to him. Of course he said no. When I heard this, I kinda lost it. I told Pickle just to tell his Dad how he felt and needed to tell him what he told me about wanting to do things with him alone. Surprisingly, EX told him he could talk to him and he wouldn’t get mad. So Pickle told him that he wanted to go for a ride just with him, Jedi and Diva. El Chupa told him that they could do that since it was starting to warm back up. I thought maybe he was actually going to be a parent but, I gave credit too soon.

A few minutes later when I walked by the room I overheard Pickle ask him about going fishing and El Chupa told him that they could as soon as I let him have his boat. When they were done talking to him, I told him, like I’ve told him time and time before, that he could get his boat when he wanted. He asked why he couldn’t get it when he came with the cop and I said because when you came with the cop the kids were here, you didn’t give 24 hour notice, and you didn’t ask for the boat then, you asked about the truck boxes and the sliding glass door. He asked why couldn’t he have the truck boxes and I said because you told me I could sell them and pay off some of our credit card debt. He asked about the tools in them and I told him there wasn’t anything valuable, it was all junky, rusted tools and he wanted those he could have them. He says he wants me to know that he wants to spend some alone time with the kids, but it’s hard because his life has been totally changed. All of a sudden, almost like he switched personalities, he starts talking about the CPO again and how he doesn’t want to talk to me, unless it has to do with the kids, but we were talking about the kids. (?) He says I’m trying to control everything so I just put Jedi on the phone and let him hang up when he was finished.

Within 5 minutes he calls back and when I answer the phone he starts yelling at me telling me I need to keep my mouth shut and that I need to stop taking the little information I had and turning it all around and to stop feeding them bullshit. I have no idea what he’s talking about or what’s going on. The he starts talking about his girlfriend’s kids. He says that her kids aren’t there when they go back to the house on Tuesday and Thursday because they are with their Dad so he does get alone time with them. I point out that they just go back to the house. He says if I’m not pulling information out of them, then why did I bring up him drinking? This was a conversation we had 2 weeks ago when I told him that Jedi had brought it up and I never said anything else to them about it.  I had only brought it up to him, because he isn’t supposed to be drinking during visitation and makes the kids uncomfortable. Believe me, I’d rather not talk about it. He yells and screams some more and then hangs up, only to call back 5 minutes later.

At that point Jer had had enough. Jer picked up the phone and tells him to go sleep it off, which is probably good advice but he starts getting into it with him. Jer tells him I don’t ask them for information and that I don’t bad mouth him, he tells him that Jedi came in the other night crying and saying that Daddy never does anything with them and all I had said in response, was I was sorry his feelings were hurt and that he needed to talk to you about it. Then Jer asked him why if he was wanting to stick to the CPO, why would he keep calling, cause technically that’s a violation. He pointed out to him that he doesn’t make any sense because he says he’s so concerned about me “using the CPO against him” and he had to show up with the cops, which really upset the kids, and then now he’s willing to call and yell at scream which actually is a reason for me to call the cops. EX asks if it’s a threat and Jer tells him “No, I’m just pointing out the obvious . She’s never threatened you with it, she wouldn’t do that.” He insists again that he thinks it was a threat and Jer said well then I guess that’s it, you should go then and hung up.

Everything that he is doing and saying is in contradiction of our Shared Parenting Plan. I cannot communicate with him and he does not want to coöperate. The thing with the medication and just the way he acted and ACTUALLY suggesting it was ok for Pickle to wait til the next day to have his epilepsy medication, really suggest that there is a more serious issue and that he really just can’t put the kids interest first. I don’t know what to do.

3 thoughts on “Ugh

  1. I think you need to stop trying to keep him informed about the kids, because he’s turning it into something weird when you try. Maybe write out specific instructions about medicine changes or whatnot, and then when he picks the kids up hand it to him and say “you need to know this stuff about the meds” and leave it at that. Obviously he’s going to turn everything into something negative, although you’re just trying to help him be a better parent by keeping him informed of everything.I’m going to see Anni at penney’s to get a trim tomorrow.

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