El Chupa is just one sick puppy.
After he skipped his first visitation on Tuesday this week and got on the phone with the kids and told them it was all my fault, I just came to the conclusion that I don’t want to speak to him anymore and he can send all his communications through text message or e-mail. I feel like that’s petty, but where the kids are concerned and just for my sanity I just don’t know what else to do.
I sent him a text on Wednesday to let him know about a change in Pickle’s seizure medications. I sent him a text Thursday to let him know Jedi had bronchitis. Then another to ask him that if there was anything else he wanted out of the house that he needed to have it out by 7pm Saturday night, he would need to be accompanied by a police officer (per his own headtrip) and not wait til the last minute to make arrangements, he was to let me know by 7pm Friday what he wanted and when he would be here. I specifically asked for this 24 hour notice because I didn’t want the kids to be here when an officer showed up with their Dad. There is still some residual angst about police with them, because it was traumatic when their Dad was arrested in October.
What does he do? He calls me – yet again, and he cancels his visitation on Thursday with the kids due to “transportation issues” saying his girlfriend’s van is in the shop and that she’s using his Jeep so he can’t make it and since I won’t bring them out…. blah, blah, blah. Funny, how they’ve both ALWAYS been at the house by the time I drop the kids off. So, when I ask him about this and say it doesn’t make any sense why he can’t come get them…he says he doesn’t want to drive 40mins out here and 40 mins back to her house, spend an hour with them and then do it again.
Excuse me am I the only one with a brain who wonders why he has to have her hold his hand to visit with his kids? Why can’t he do something with them alone – without her and her three kids around? I’m sure the kids would REALLY like that. In fact, I know they would cause they complain he doesn’t do shit without her. Im highly suspect that this is HER issue. She doesn’t trust him. I guess that’s an unwanted side effect of having an affair with a married man. Anyways, then he tells me that HE doesn’t want me to call any of his numbers anymore and all MY communications can come through text or e-mail. It’s like he completely ignored me when I asked him to do it and now he’s telling me what to do? So I hung up promptly and I sent him a text, repeating exactly what I had said on the phone and then I took the kids to the art show/bookfair/ice cream social at their school (which I told him about over a month ago.)
When we got home, I had the kids call him to tell him goodnight. I could hear him yelling into the phone about me. I hear Pickle tell him that he didn’t want him to talk about me like that. When he didn’t stop, he came to me with the phone outstretched in his hand and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “I’m going to hang up on him, Mom” so I took the phone and said his name but he didn’t even hear me, because he was yelling so loud and he still thought Pickle was on the phone. So I said his name a little louder and told him he need to stop, to keep his conversations with the kids about them. He hung up and called back and I tried to tell him again, but he kept yelling, so when he called the third time I put him on speakerphone and told him I would just do his phone calls like this until he could control himself, because the kids didn’t need to hear it, he told me he would do the same to me, which I told him was fine and then I called the Diva to the phone, still on speakerphone, and he started in on her. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you tonight, but Mommy is being mean and..” She’s 4 years old. Despite my best efforts to stay cordial with this asshat, I’m getting really pissed. I send him a text while he’s still on speaker, telling him he needs to keep his convos with the kids about them and that if he can’t I’ll have to ask the court for their recommendation because we’re both too emotionally involved to be able to make them and letting the Court make them, is just stupid. I asked him to think of them, because they need him.
Friday I made some calls to try and find a mediator that maybe we could see to get some of these issues worked out. I called the court and tried to find out how to modify my protection order to include third party intervention with visitations (meaning I would drop them off at my parents and leave and he woudl pick the kids up there, just to avoid the lack of consistency in visits for the kids) so I can completely remove myself and still allow him to be an active part of their lives. Friday night….I get a call from the cops. Cop tells me my Ex had called them about harassing telecommunications I had sent him. I told the police officer that he had asked me to contact him through text or email and that I had only been trying to make arrangements for his belongings and informing him about our kids. He said EX told him that I use that as a front to talk to him about other things and that he’s worried because I hold the protective order over his head and threaten him with it, BUT from what I was telling him, it seemed like that’s EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING. Then he says, if I were you – I would just stick to the CPO tried and true and I guess that’s how it’s going to have to be. I just hate all of this.
When he called to talk to the kids that night I told him that I wasn’t going to put them on the phone after what he had done to them the night before and that I was in the process of trying to find a court mediator so that we could get this worked out so that he wouldn’t involve them and until then, I didn’t want him to call the house or contact me in anyway. I told him just to stick to the CPO like the police officer had said, so there weren’t any misunderstandings.
Then yesterday… (insert severe eyeroll)
Since I had not heard from him about anything he wanted, Jer and I spent the day cleaning out the basement and shed in the backyard. I threw stuff away, put stuff up on freecycle and then at 6:15pm, an uniformed officer approached me in my back yard while I was playing with the kids and tells me Ex was here to get his belongings and asked if he could go ahead. WHAT THE FUCK?!
I told him no and explained that I had told him to let me know what time he planned to be here and what he wanted 24 hours in advanced, because I didn’t want the kids here. I showed him the text messages so of course he goes to talk to him and comes back. He said EX told him the only things he wanted were in the back shed and if I would take the kids inside he would get them. I explained that I had cleaned everything out of the shed when I hadn’t heard from him. He asked if I would accept this visit as 24 hour notice and asked if he could come back tomorrow at the same time with another officer to get his things and he would find out what he wanted so I could get it ready and just have it in the driveway or something. After he talked to him, again, he came back and told me specifically that he wanted a sliding glass door and the truck boxes. This really annoyed me, because now I knew he was just being petty and aside from that, that he had gotten the kids all worked up about another officer being at the house, just to serve his own selfish, vindictive, immature ways. I explained that the sliding glass door was for the house and that he had agreed to let me sell the truck boxes because I had put them on my credit card. I went and got my divorce papers and showed that it said I would keep all belongings except for his TV, drum set and occupational tools, which he had already removed and that he was just doing this to be spiteful and I just felt really bad that their time was being wasted this way and feeling quite emotional because of the kids. After he saw the decree he told Ex he needed to leave and contact his attorney. I could hear him ranting from the backyard. The cop came back and told me I should contact my attorney as well and consult with him before I did anything else with any of his stuff. He really stressed that if EX should show back up without an officer that I should call the police immediately. I apologized to him and told him I was really sorry that his time had been wasted and that I thought it was horrible. I told him about trying to get in touch with a mediator so that these issues could be resolved and told him about wanting to change my CPO for third party involvement with visitations and he said that I should look into seeing if he could be required to attend anger management or something. I could only assume this was to mean, he thought he needed it.
He is such a self-absorbed, immature asshole!!!
Im beginning to doubt the El Chupa has any thought about anything other than himself. I’m so annoyed at the stress he’s putting on the kids, cause none of this has to be this way.