I had a rather ephiphanic ( I may have just invented that word) moment this morning. I don’t know if that’s even a word, but it suits what I’m trying to say, so I’ll roll with it.
EX called on his way into work as he sometimes does to touch base, check up on the kids. He inquired into my gutter situation. (It’s half hanging off my house due to recent snow and ice) Then out of nowhere he starts telling me that Matilda (an old
friend acquaintance) and his self-righteous brother got into it at a bar this weekend. I actually said, “Who?” After he clarified, I had to wonder what this has to do with me and I inquire why he is telling me this. He says he was just wondering if I had heard anything. Ummmm, no. I don’t speak to either one of them anymore, for good reason. He starts telling me how his brother was out for his birthday and how supposedly Matilda was trying to act like she was “buddy, buddy” with him and trying to “work into his scene” (as if it’s some prestigious feat) and that he more or less tried to belittle her and told her that he never liked her, what did she want?, blah, blah, blah, blah….
So, I ask him. “Why are you telling me this? Why would I care?”
He says, “Well, I was just wondering if you had heard about it in case anything was said about you. I just didn’t want you to get your feelings hurt.”
Let me get this straight: I don’t talk to either of these two people, they are out at a bar, probably both wasted without a doubt, they have words that has absolutely nothing to do with me, I know nothing about, nor do I care, yet he’s telling me about it to … protect me, just IN CASE something was said about me?
Know what I realized?
1- EX is an instigator, who feeds on trying to make people as insecure and paranoid as he is. I recognize it now and I’m not going to play into it anymore.
But more importantly…
2- I realized I really don’t give a shit what, or if anything, was said about me, especially from the likes of these two. Really and truly I don’t care anymore. I know the truth and I’m ok with not having to prove anything, to anyone. For me – that’s a big deal.