I met her tonight.
He called me beforehand and told me that she would be with him when he came to pick up the kids. I decided between then and the time that they arrived that I was going to go out and meet her. If it were anybody else new coming around under any other circumstances, I would meet them, that’s my personality…outgoing, friendly, so why should this be any different?
It seemed as if she was trying to avoid me. Maybe because she was worried about how I would act. Actually, if I stop and think about it…considering the “stories” that I’m sure ex has probably told her, I probably wouldn’t want to meet me either. But when we finally made eye contact I said “Hi, I’m Stephanie.” and shook her hand. I told her it was nice to meet her. I told her that I had heard good things about her from the kids and that I appreciated that, that it made me worry less. She said that my daughter looked just like me and I said “Well, thanks….that is a good thing, right?” and we laughed. I think we made some jokes about the weather or the kids or something ….
I couldn’t say for sure, because I kinda went blank for a minute. She seemed nice. She seemed like a genuine person. I won’t worry about the kids so much having met her. But all I could think was, ‘i hope he doesn’t break her heart.’ and it made me a little sad. I don’t want what I think is gonna happen to happen. I don’t want him to say the things he said to me that she won’t even see coming or understand why he’s saying them. God, BELIEVE ME I want to be wrong. I want it to be different. Not just for the kids, but for his sake too. But it’s just all too familiar. I’m wanna hope against everything screaming inside of me that maybe, just maybe, he can start over with a clean slate and not make the same mistakes. Not because he’s this horrible spawn of Satan or anything, but because he really hasn’t changed, ya know? He’s gone for the first girl to cross his path…which is fine, she’s a nice girl, the kids already like her and I could deal with her, maybe even be friends with her. But taking into consideration the events of the last week, I’d have to say he’s not being himself with her for whatever reason and that’s just setting up for bad news for both of them.
I snapped back to reality when my ex made some comment about how we weren’t allowed to be laughing together or something. You think he would’ve said something….anything else. I just said it was nice to have met her and asked if he could bring the kids home so I could do homework.
He called me later and asked me if I would get together any DVDs I didn’t want. I went through them and put them in a box. Then I ended up practically having to heave them out on the porch at him because he was doing the whole dramatic bit about staying away from the door because Jer was here. C’mon! Grow up, already. Wasn’t he the one who supposedly “needed” to meet him if he was gonna be around the kids and now, he’s acting all queer about it?
I just don’t get it.
Honestly, I think if ex could stop with all the dramatics, games and bullshit, the four of us could probably get along pretty well. I can pretty much get along with anybody and Jer and ex have quite a bit in common as far as interests are concerned. I just wish things could be cool like that. I mean, we’re all adults. The way I see it, the better things are between us, the easier things are for the kids anyways.
I mean really, there isn’t any rule anywhere that says we all have to dislike each other and be catty is there?