The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Ugly.
The ex strikes again. He was a complete ass yesterday. Borderline psychotic. He pushed me to tears and pissed off my Dad which is a hard task in itself. There was a WHOLE episode over what I am writing on my Xanga site. Why I had to write anything about him. He accussed me of writing things on here that I NEVER did. But then it occured to me that what I think happened was that his “friend” read my site. She got upset because of him telling me that he missed me last week and then went off on him, got really dramatic and starting adding things I didn’t say to my post. I’m pretty sure she must have pitched a real bitch fit.  I resent censorship in general, but I’m just tired of the drama with him. I should be able to talk about how I feel and what I am thinking about the things going on in my life without reserve, but if this saves me the headache of his drama when he gets caught in a lie…so be it. See, this is where that whole pesky character thing comes into play. If he had any, and was genuine and wasn’t a fake ass mofo he wouldn’t have to worry about what I write. Here’s a freakin genius idea….how bout he just doesn’t read it or send other people to read it? (gasp!) Then when I told him I was making it all protected and that he won, he had the audacity to tell me it wasn’t about winning….it was about putting our children first. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, I always forget how he puts our children first. Like the years he spent putting alcohol as his top priority really shows his effort. Puh-lease.
Also, he demanded that he meet Jer because as he said, he “wants to make sure he’s on the up and up“. HA! That’s hilarious! Him being in a position of judgment to decide if someone is good enough. (sigh) What a fuckin joke. Jer of course, doesn’t think that’s a good idea, because well aside from the fact that my ex is all over the place lately, he’s worried he would say something snide or be disrespectful and he couldn’t let it go. I get that. Jer is a big believer in respecting others. He thinks there is nothing greater than respect and if my ex was disrespectful of him, or I, it wouldn’t be brushed aside.

The Good.
Jer is the most wonderful man.
I don’t think I could have designed him any better in my own dreams. Aside from being handsome, and funny as hell, and spectacular in bed (smirk) he has a great soul. He’s genuine. He’s real. There isn’t anything fake about him. Which I adore because it’s something I strive for myself. You know that, this is me no matter what and you don’t have to question anything character thing? He treats me so well and he loves me just for me. It’s an awesome thing.

Sincerely, I think he’s my soulmate.

The Bad.
I miss him like crazy.
It’s insane that you can go most of your life not even knowing someone exsisted and then when you find them – you can’t stand to be without them. He only lives about 30 minutes away, but his work schedule and my responsibilities make it difficult for us to get together. We’re like lost little puppies without one another. We talk on the phone so much that I’m horrified for him to get his cell phone bill. It is slightly pathetic, but so rewarding when we do get to see each other. I did drive out and see him last night. When I got to him, I jumped out of my car and ran over to him. Didn’t even give him a chance to get out of his truck before I threw the door open, climbed up and was giving him little kisses all over his face. Now I have three whole days without him. (sigh) because he volunteered to work Thanksgiving so that he could have the whole weekend off to spend with me. I’m REALLY looking forward to that, but it’s just a matter of surviving until then. I don’t know what we are going to do with ourselves.

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