Jer was everything i was swearing to avoid…..tattoos, piercings, bad boy, edgy thing going on.
but he is the sweetest.
Jer is a man. a good man. he issues compliments. he’s respectful. he treats me like the only woman on earth. like a queen. and it’s sincere.
he also says the most incredible things. like last night, we were watching a movie and i started laughing and i turned to laugh w/ him and he was just smiling and looking at me and then he says, “you are so beautiful“. *melts*
a couple days ago, he had asked me about my ex. i started talking about it and stopped, telling him i would get into that one day when we didn’t have anything better to do and my sock drawer was organized. he wouldn’t let me. he told me he wanted me to talk to him about anything. so, we talked a little bit about it. i told him i had been stupid. he grabbed my hand and told me not to do that to myself. he didn’t ever want to hear me say that again. then he looked me straight in the eye and said, “just promise me no matter what happens between us you won’t go back with him. he never deserved you and it hurts me that he didn’t respect you and treat you the way you deserved. you deserve better, even if it’s not me.”
Jer informed me today that he has fallen in love with me. he was so scared to say it too. he says he’s never felt like this about anyone before and so fast. he said though he never believed in it before, it was love at first sight. he clarifies, not lust, because if it was lust he wouldn’t be scared out of his mind about how he feels.
the really scary part, is that i feel that way too. it’s not scary because of him at all. in fact, i feel for the first time in a long time, i am being myself and he totally digs it. he likes me just the way i am. no … he adores the me that i am. do you know how huge that is? what scares me is that i could allow myself to be so vulnerable after everything i’ve just been through. now, this, i’m ok with? i can’t explain what the hell is going on, but there is a connection between us that is just unreal. it’s that something you read about in books or see in movies. i can totally be myself around him. i feel like i’ve known him forever. there’s nothing that we haven’t or can’t talk about with one another. it seems crazy, but it doesn’t feel crazy. it’s like everything i ever wanted in a man, every piece that was missing in everyone else that came before…..just ~poof~ appeared.
is this really happening?