this is gonna get ugly 10/5/06

i tried to talk to him about the separation agreement, turns out we couldn’t do much agreeing. actually, i take that back…he was pretty agitated when i told him how much child and spousal support would amount to. that was his big concern. not his family falling apart, but child support. he said: “so basically i’ll give you a paycheck for nothing“. yeh, he’s sweet. then, i started telling him that while i would like to have shared parenting and for the kids to have more time with him than the standard ordered visitation, i was concerned about his drinking and wanted language added to the agreement where he would abstain from drinking during his visitations. this really set him off. he told me this was another way of me controlling him and just trying to get my way. that is was ridiculous. he laughed at me. told me that if i wanted to be nasty, we would get nasty.

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

eventually the words all run together. they’re mean, spiteful…they all sound the same.

i know i’m doing the right thing. i do. and it’s not divorce that i fear.

what i’m scared of is the kids only having him to depend on during visitation. don’t get me wrong, i don’t think he’s a bad father, but where alcohol is involved, he sense is gone and it scares me. if i’m honest that’s probably the reason i’ve stayed as long as i have. because i figured if i stayed i could protect them and if we went our separate ways i’d have to trust him……with my children……and i don’t. not where alcohol comes into play.

(((((sigh)))))))

this is gonna get ugly. i just know it.

 

10 thoughts on “this is gonna get ugly 10/5/06

  1. wow. i cant’ believe you remember the day. i can barely remember the year of mine. but then, i’m still trying to block that out…..

  2. omg, I just read this… and I’ve been laughing out loud for over2 minutes.. I can hardly type… This was very possibly the most honest post I’ve ever read. Thank you for bringing some joy to my day!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s