Another fight 5/25/06

This morning before my husband left for work we had a fight about finances. It was really absurd.

He started to ask me questions about how much money was in our checking account. I told him I hadn’t spent any money that we hadn’t talked about when we sat down and did bills Monday. He asked why it still showed a balance of $230 when I said it would all go to bills. When I told him I hadn’t yet paid all of them because of I wanted to make sure all the debits we had done over the weekend had cleared. He asked again, what was in the account, I said the money for the bills and that was it. He started talking really slowly to me like I didn’t understand him. Again, being condescending. So I asked him why he was asking me about money when he had 70+dollars in his wallet and he said because he didn’t want to spend it. Then I asked why he would take money out of the bills account to spend when he had $70. He said because if there was extra money he would use that. I explained AGAIN that we had already discussed there would be no money and what was in the account was all going to bills. He picks up the register again and says, “Well then why does this say there is $230?!?” I grab the thing and take a pen and wrote a big ZERO across the register and handed it back and said, “Now it says zero, do you see, do you understand?” He throws the register down and says, “Fuck it, I’ll just go to the bank and see what’s there.” I then had to stop and explain to him that if he went to the bank it would show a lot more than $230 because some of the bills won’t come out and checks won’t clear until next week. He kept pestering and pestering until I ended up throwing/breaking a glass in the sink and yelling, ” I can’t take anymore of this psycho asshole bullshit.” Which of course I shouldn’t have said or done…because then it became all about how I attacked him and that’s why we can’t have a conversation.  It ended with him telling me how it was degrading to him that I tell him what he can and cannot spend, that I ask for his debit card and give him $20 until I get the checkbook balanced. This makes me think I should just hand all the financial crap over to him and se how he does if I take my debit card and just go buy a  bunch of shit without saying anything. I would, but honestly he’d probably do something deranged like stop making payments on “my” credit card debt.

Speaking of deranged, somehow he “accidentally” took my keys with him to work. Hmmmm, doesn’t that seem ironic that he felt controlled and ended up with my keys, thus controlling that I couldn’t leave??? I know that might sound crazy, but HE CAN BE CRAZY. These are the kinds of things he does. To make my day better, I forgot to give Pickle his anti-seizure medication this morning, while fighting with my husband. I had already made doctor appointments for myself and Jedi, so I had to call my Mom for a ride. Then Jedi locked the door behind us and I’ve been locked out all day.

I really do love this shit.

I’m so fed up and confused. It really is like talking to a wall with him. It’s so weird that he gets so bent out of shape. While I guess he was trying to make a point in his favor, he only managed to make things worse, push me further away and confirm thoughts I was already having.

8 thoughts on “Another fight 5/25/06

  1. oh wow, sweetie. I don’t know what to say, but that’s terrible. Maybe you guys need some time apart for a little bit, Chris is being so unreasonable and malicious towards you. I can’t believe he’d take your keys so you can’t go anywhere, that’s horrible.
    Could you go stay with a friend/family member for a few days? It just seems like Chris is so emotionally toxic, to you and your little ones.
    {{{hugs}}}
    *Miranda

  2. If you only gave him $20, why did he have $70?Sounds like he is reaching for things to fight about. I am useless for advice since my husband and I rarely fight (I think I’ve seen him really mad three times in eight years – he barely has a pulse) but know I am thinking of you.

  3. The $20 I gave him, $70 was from him selling “his” lawn mower. Remember the post the other day about  how I asked him why when I sell things, it’s “our” money for “our” bills, but when he sells “his” stuff it’s “his” money. He still has it.

  4. It sounds like he is just itching to fight.  I am guessing he doesn’t realize what he may be losing by doing so.  I still have no advice to offer, just empathy.  I’m sorry babe.  You deserve better.

  5. I’m sorry he is being such a asshole. Which he is! Ugh. Hang in there and call if you need anything!

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