How do you take breathing for granted?

As I sit here with a tissue, twirled into a little point and wedge into one nostril while propping my head up my other hand cause I feel no strength to hold it up myself, I wonder how one could ever take something like breathing through your nose for granted. Yet somehow I have.

Do you know how completely retarded you look drinking out of cup only to remove it, gasp for air through the mouth like you had been drowning and then return to drinking?

I hate, HATE having a sinus infection but …I am in awe at my body’s capacity to create snot and mucus. Where does it all come from? I have blown my nose straight through two boxes of kleenex and am working on my third in the past, I dunno, 4 days and yet it’s still in my nose, it always returns. Efficient little boogers they are.

I’m miserable…in a physical sense, very happy in others. Guess you gotta roll with the punches.

 This is too funny not to mention.

 There was a complete write-up in the local paper, front page news mind you, regarding how this woman got a DUI on her BIKE. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I had to post this, cause it reads just like one of those dumbest criminal write-ups. What makes it even funnier is that this “woman” is my husband‘s Aunt. (by marriage – that’s very important to say.)


Ravenna woman charged with DUI on bicycle

By Tom Prusha

Record-Courier staff writer

A Ravenna woman has been cited with DUI, running a red light, and hit skip by Ravenna police – all while riding a bicycle.

Brenda E. Jones, 48, also known as Jane Cracker, of 608 Page St. was riding her bike northbound on Sycamore Street at the Main Street intersection early Wednesday morning when she failed to stop for a red light, according to Ravenna police.

This is the fifth time she has been charged with DUI in Portage County since 1992. She was found guilty on two of the charges, another charge was dismissed, and the final charge was reduced with conviction of the reduced charge.

Police report that after turning onto Main Street, she reportedly dodged one vehicle, caused another to swerve and then struck a westbound car head on. The car was not damaged.

Jones fell to the pavement and the car’s driver, Thomas Ballard Jr. and his wife, both of Ravenna Township, told Jones to lie down and wait for a squad. Instead, police say Jones grabbed her bike and fled north on Sycamore Street.

She was later spotted by Lt. Richard Bennett riding the bike north on Cleveland Road. She refused to stop pedaling and rode the bike off the road and into a bush.

Sgt. Tim Mullen said witnesses to the crash told him Jones smelled of alcohol. Mullen said he later met with Jones and reported she was highly intoxicated and smelled of beer. According to the report, Jones told Mullen she drank five beers.

Jones told Mullen that her bicycle had no brakes and that is why she sped out onto Main Street. Mullen said he checked and found both the front and rear brakes were operational.

She was taken to Robinson Memorial Hospital in Ravenna by the Ravenna Township Fire Department.

She was taken to the Portage County jail after her hospital treatment and booked on an active warrant that was issued by the sheriff’s department.


Yes, she really does use the alias, Jane Cracker. I just can’t believe they wrote that in the paper though and what’s worse? She actually called a local news channel and told them she was being profiled by the police because of her prior DUIs and that’s she’s going to fight the charges. They showed her riding around on her bike in her driveway looking like complete white trash with her front tooth missing, talking about how she has a bum wrist and ankle and the brakes were bad on her bike and that’s why she couldn’t stop. They actually mentioned that she doesn’t have a car and got her bike out of the trash. (severe eye roll)

Now, let me mention that she fractured her wrist and ankle falling while she was drunk, if you watched closely, she uses the brakes in the video clip, she doesn’t have a car cause she wrecked it driving drunk and she did this interview from my husband‘s Uncle’s house, which he’s kicked her out of and she keeps breaking into. This is a shining example at how the media swings things to create controversy. Like, casually leaving out the 20 other public records she has for being drunk in public, possession of drugs, etc, etc. this is her 4th charge for something or other in the last 6 MONTHS! Anybody who knows her, could tell you she’s a crackhead. She’s lucky to be alive, hell, she’s lucky she’s not in jail and she’s gonna fight it? She’s gonna make accusations like that? You rode out in front of traffic, dumbass!

Some people just never learn.

I’m just amused to be around TiVO when it happens.

7 thoughts on “How do you take breathing for granted?

  1. LOL  some people are just plain white trash and never had a chance!  Too funny.  I am so amused by stupid people and Lord knows this world is full of them!  Hope your sinus infection gets better soon!

  2. I appreciate you being there for me and I really do need someone to vent to.  But I don’t have IM or whatever it is.  I was worried about cutting out too many carbs.  I don’t want to keep losing weight.  It seems unhealthy to me. 
    I hope your sinus infection gets better soon.  Having a sinus infection is a miserable thing.  I feel bad for you.  And yes, you do produce a ton of snot when you have one….hee hee. 
    I can’t believe the story about ‘Jane Cracker’.  Lordy!  What is the world coming to?  I can’t believe anyone would be riding around drunk on a bike.  That’s pathetic and dangerous..  Now, here’s one for you, my mom saw a man that lives not too far from her being stopped by the law for being drunk in his wheelchair going down the road.  Come on!!!!  His name is….Hot Nuts….LMAO…( can’t remember his real name).  So maybe Hot Nuts and ‘Jane Cracker’ can get together.  I sounds like they’d make an awesome couple.  I believe he might be a crackhead, too.  Obviously they already have lots in common. 

  3. I definitely don’t take breathing for granted… I have asthma and nasty allergies, so I’m constantly aware of my inability to breathe.  It’s really rather annoying.  Annoying.
    Also the DUI on the bike – hysterical!  When I was in school we used to have the Tour de Laramie – which consisted of riding your bike from bar to bar (all 38 of them) and you have a shot or a beer at everyone of them.  The cops have a field day.  As do the sober people – Laramie’s biggest bike swap!

  4. Jane Cracker HA! that alone is enough to crack me up never mind the rest of the craziness!
    breathign… *sigh* something i’ve had trouble with lately. My allergies are terrible (I normally take meds daily) and being pregnant I can’t take what I need. Not only is drinking hard, but eating is too! You have to chew with your mouth open so you dont suffocate! I feel your pain… and i hope you feel better real soon.

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