I’m reading a book with the above title. In the book, these three grown women who live in California but all came from the South. Some how they all arrive at the same point in their life, at the same time. They are disgusted with the men in their lives. (rightfully so I may add) They decide to go on a road trip back home to find whatever it is that they left behind that might help them figure out who they are now. It starts to become apparent that they are searching for some feeling they had with an old boyfriend.
I didn’t think about it much in context to my own life until I read a friend’s site this morning where the old boyfriend factor arose again. Why do girls do this? It’s like once there is time and distance between us and the relationship, the guy ends up on some immortal pedestal and we forget all the reasons why he became the old boyfriend in the first place. I mean, even if it wasn’t our own decision, no matter who is the breaker upper and who is on the receiving end. It happened for a reason and probably a damn good one. I also have to stop and wonder if guys do this crap too. Although I don’t see three middle aged men all jumping in a convertible and traveling half way across America to find an old girlfriend that they are wondering about. But every girl has one guy that we wonder about. So who is my old boyfriend that I MIGHT go searching for if my life was turned upside down???
For me, it’s Darryl. Darryl because he was the guy who treated me best and made me feel like a queen. There were other boys who were decent to me, but their after-actions just ruined all those fuzzy memories. With Darryl it was never like that. We started out as acquaintances at a very young age. Then I moved away and when I moved back he was living next door. We became very good friends. We confided in each other. He had his girlfriends and I had my boyfriends. Then he started dating one of my friends and we were requested to stop talking to one another. We didn’t, we couldn’t. They broke up and I lost a friend. But things never went back to the way they were before. He stopped seeing me as the chick who played tag football with all the boys on the block. And he wasn’t just my funny guy friend with the basketball always in tote. I can’t even explain how connected I felt with him. But we broke up. He was in the Air Force and going to be sent halfway around the world and I was finishing my senior year of high school. When he left we agreed to see other people and do our own things with discretion, because it would kill either of us to actually KNOW. And even with another boy in the picture, I cried myself to sleep almost every night because I missed Darryl so much. It physically hurt. So, I flew out to see him and told him it was just too hard. I told him that despite wanting to be with him, I needed someone within reach of me. He wanted to get married so we could be together, but neither of our parents were going to sit by for that. When he came home for Christmas that year, I snuck away from my then boyfriend to go see Darryl. I jumped out of my friend’s car before it even stopped and ran and jumped into his arms. We just stood there hugging for what seemed like forever. He again proposed to me. Got down on one knee and begged me to marry him before he left to go to Guam so I could go with him, right in front of my friend, knowing I was already seeing someone else. Beyond tough.
Anyways….with us it’s different though cause we kept in touch while he was in Guam. I actually got engaged during that time, but then that went to hell and he met his wife around the same time. It got weird between us again. So, I stopped taking the calls when they came and then they just stopped coming. There was silence for seven years between us and then last year on Christmas Day, in my e-mail Inbox, there he was again. He was in Iraq which put a lot of things in perspective. We had been great friends before and he hoped we could be again. And so we are. We still talk about once a month. The
husband and I even had drinks with him last summer when we both ended up back in the old neighborhood at the same time.
So if my life went crazy, I wouldn’t have to look hard for him, I know he’s in Colorado, but I’d still drive out there and make him sit and talk with me for hours on end. But I assure you there is ABSOLUTELY no temptation for me there. I figure the grass may sometimes look greener on the other side but, it could be sitting on top of a sewer drain. Know what I’m sayin’? Everybody has there pitfalls, but I know my husbands and I’ve already invested 5 years here. I love him, bad habits and all. AND he loves me, bad habits and all. You don’t get what we have overnight.
Tell me. Who’s your old boyfriend/girlfriend? What’s the story?