There is a lump in my right breast.
I have been aware of it’s presence for about 6 months now. My OB/GYN first found it during my yearly exam in his office. Having had a breast reduction surgery only 6 months prior, he wrote it off as scar tissue, explaining that it would be highly improbable for “something like breast cancer” to suddenly pop up right afterwards without the surgeon seeing something and especially not at my age.
I had my one year surgery follow-up yesterday with the boob doctor. I casually bring up that I think I have some scar tissue in my breast and so he feels it and makes this face and says “That’s a little too round and hard…” and kinda trails off. I’m sitting on the edge of his little exam table now feeling very uncomfortable because aside from his little quirky comment, there is a really young and very cute med student in the room with him as well who is now feeling the boob. Dr. Boob turns and tells me that it could just be a cyst that was under the tissue before the surgery and now it’s easier to feel, BUT he wasn’t able to just let me walk around saying “there is a lump in my breast and my doctor says it’s fine”. He recommends opening up the incision and taking the whole thing out, but would only bill for a breast biopsy, so the insurance covers it as non-cosmetic and he’s taking care of what could be scar tissue he created during surgery.
I’ve decided that I’m gonna take it to my regular doctor whom I trust WAY more than this surgeon who could just be looking to get paid for yet ANOTHER surgery. Not saying he is, but I think it would be highly irresponsible of me to just go under the knife because of the opinion of a surgeon.
I know it could be worse. I am sure there is someone out there who would gladly trade me their much worse problems to deal with mine, but it’s still EXTREMELY frustrating being in my shoes right now.
I mean, JESUS!!! Why is all this crap happening to me?
Let me clarify that I really don’t think this lump is cancer. I’ve had WAY too many blood tests done in the past year after my mystery illness and hospital stay to be contrary to such a thing. And the high sed rate thing which I had, and can be indicative of having cancer, did clear up. BUT, you know, I admit there is that small “what-if” game playing in the background. And I’m just annoyed at having anymore nonsense and prospective surgery to think about.
I’ve already got my hands full with Pickle and worrying about him and trying to make sure that he’s getting the help he needs and just trying to figure out what the hell that is exactly. Then I’ve got Jedi & Diva, who believe me, I wake up everyday and thank God that they are healthy, but they are still a handful who require a lot of attention. And then I’ve got a
husband who is having problems at work who I am constantly trying to console in regards to his job security which is stressful to think about on it’s own. Then I’ve already been through the agony of being tested for everything under the sun and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for results, while worry mounts. And then to top all that off, I’ve got a complex cyst in an ovary to consider, which may also require biopsy, if not full out surgery. And now this fuckin lump in the breast thing. Oh let us not forget, for added fun, having to worry about what someone is going to think of me because of the feelings I express while I’m dealing with all of this shit.
Can someone please cut me some slack???