The lump in my boob

There is a lump in my right breast.

I have been aware of it’s presence for about 6 months now. My OB/GYN first found it during my yearly exam in his office. Having had a breast reduction surgery only 6 months prior, he wrote it off as scar tissue, explaining that it would be highly improbable for “something like breast cancer” to suddenly pop up right afterwards without the surgeon seeing something and especially not at my age.

I had my one year surgery follow-up yesterday with the boob doctor. I casually bring up that I think I have some scar tissue in my breast and so he feels it and makes this face and says “That’s a little too round and hard…” and kinda trails off. I’m sitting on the edge of his little exam table now feeling very uncomfortable because aside from his little quirky comment, there is a really young and very cute med student in the room with him as well who is now feeling the boob. Dr. Boob turns and tells me that it could just be a cyst that was under the tissue before the surgery and now it’s easier to feel, BUT he wasn’t able to just let me walk around saying “there is a lump in my breast and my doctor says it’s fine”. He recommends opening up the incision and taking the whole thing out, but would only bill for a breast biopsy, so the insurance covers it as non-cosmetic and he’s taking care of what could be scar tissue he created during surgery.

I’ve decided that I’m gonna take it to my regular doctor whom I trust WAY more than this surgeon who could just be looking to get paid for yet ANOTHER surgery. Not saying he is, but I think it would be highly irresponsible of me to just go under the knife because of the opinion of a surgeon.

I know it could be worse. I am sure there is someone out there who would gladly trade me their much worse problems to deal with mine, but it’s still EXTREMELY frustrating being in my shoes right now.

I mean, JESUS!!! Why is all this crap happening to me?

Let me clarify that I really don’t think this lump is cancer. I’ve had WAY too many blood tests done in the past year after my mystery illness and hospital stay to be contrary to such a thing. And the high sed rate thing which I had, and can be indicative of having cancer, did clear up. BUT, you know, I admit there is that small “what-if” game playing in the background. And I’m just annoyed at having anymore nonsense and prospective surgery to think about.

I’ve already got my hands full with Pickle and worrying about him and trying to make sure that he’s getting the help he needs and just trying to figure out what the hell that is exactly. Then I’ve got Jedi & Diva, who believe me, I wake up everyday and thank God that they are healthy, but they are still a handful who require a lot of attention. And then I’ve got a husband who is having problems at work who I am constantly trying to console in regards to his job security which is stressful  to think about on it’s own. Then I’ve already been through the agony of being tested for everything under the sun and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for results, while worry mounts. And then to top all that off, I’ve got a complex cyst in an ovary to consider, which may also require biopsy, if not full out surgery. And now this fuckin lump in the breast thing. Oh let us not forget, for added fun, having  to worry about what someone is going to think of me because of the feelings I express while I’m dealing with all of this shit.

Can someone please cut me some slack???

13 thoughts on “The lump in my boob

  1. i know its not very helpful… but i have 2 lumps in my left breast. the first my ex husband found (when he was my husband of course). i went in and had a biopsy and it turned out to be begnin. mine is also round and “hard”. the other one showed up a year or so later and they say that its most likey the same thing and just to keep an eye on it. i’m hoping they will find its nothing and it will just be more of a nusance than anything else.
    but i know honey, you have gone through so much stuff. its like you are getting hit from every angle lately. no one needs to go through what you are going through. you are much too good of a person and it breaks my heart. (((hugs)))

  2. Well… the fact that you’ve had a zillion blood draws in the recent past that haven’t shown anything bad is definitely in your favor.  And I think you’re right, you should definitely get a second opinion, particularly from a doctor you trust.  If nothing else it will make you feel better to be working with someone you believe in and not someone who may or may not have an agenda.
    I definitely know the feeling of “why me, why NOW”!  You wake up in the morning and have 10 seconds where you have forgotten all the issues, and then they overwhelm you and you want to sink back into that bed.  Hang in there… and remember, yes, I’m sure someone else’s problems are worse than yours, but that doesn’t make yours insignificant!
    I won’t ask you about it, so as not to worry you, but please know if you ever need to chat, you have my IM and e-mail, and I’m happy to give you my cell number. 

  3. yes you definitely deserve some slack. good decision with the doctor though – better to get a second opinion before doing anything big.
    lol, i feel you with the cleveland browns thing. if i were in yankee stadium..i wouldn’t let my tourist relatives wear anything that says red sox on it. I too would like to live to see my children’s children 🙂 

  4. Stumbled onto your blog – just wanted to say I think you’re doing great. No, it’s probably not cancer, but things like this really do suck and you have to remind yourself how good life can be. Don’t let the crappy days bog you down. But you don’t need me to tell you that – I think you’re already a step ahead of most of us – you know when to call a friend when you need to. Hope tomorrow is better than yesterday.

  5. I’m sorry everything is hitting you at once but just think….
    when you get through it, look how much stronger you will be…
    Try to have a great hump day!!

  6. You’re right to go to the doctor you trust…
    If you’ve got a lot on your plate now, sooner or later it’ll get easier, and you can look back and gloat…

  7. *snip* 
    slack has been cut
    vent away, darling.
    I totally agree that you should go talk to your doctor that you trust.  It’s easier to get their opinion, and they won’t benefit from surgery like the other person.  Let them give it to you straight.

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