Something about today reminds me of Phil.
I don’t remember the date he died or the date of his funeral off hand, but it feels the same.
Phil was a great guy. In a lot of different ways. He was a faithful husband, a playful father, a mentor, a high school soccer coach, a youth pastor and my friend. He was the kind of guy who should never be diagnosed with cancer, not that anyone should, but in his case it seemed particularly cruel and unfair. He was the only “pastor” who ever really accepted me as is, he made me feel loved, he made me feel like there was always a way back to faith. Truly an inspiration.
I don’t know what it is, but when I stepped outside this morning the memory of me and Matilda standing there holding hands in the cold waiting for his coffin to be carried past was way too prevalent. The way she squeezed my hand when his wife Carol passed us barely holding it together as she carried their oldest son away, sobbing, in her arms. Maybe it’s that the sky is the same overcast gray and the air has that same smell and chill. I can’t explain it.
He is so heavy on my mind today that it’s almost as if there is some point to make of it?
But what and why?
Lighter note: Today is my one year check-up with my boob doctor. Funny how I actually believed having that breast reduction would make all my problems go away. HA! that’s a laugh. I think I’ve had more medical problems since having it then I did before hand. But hey! – haven’t had any back pain.
Leave it to me to change the subject, huh? The emotion is just too fresh and raw right now.