This morning was spent at the doctor’s office….again. Pickle isn’t doing well. These “episodes” he is having come more often and last longer. He forgets where he is or what he’s doing. This in turn terrifies him. Then he becomes angry.
Me – I’m exhausted. I stay up at night researching online. Thinking of polite ways to say “I think you’re an incompetent piece of shit doctor whose wasting valuable time.” The exhaustion heightens the frustration. The frustration leads to anger, the anger drains me emotionally and physically. Vicious cycle.
Don’t feel like talking about me, him…… or it anymore.
I don’t feel like thinking anymore.
I just want to shut it all off.
I just want a hug, to cry, someone to listen and actually care without thinking I’m too negative or acting like the “glass is half full”. No judgement on whatever words leave my mouth on emotion. Unconditional acceptance.