Parental Rights

There are issues that I have been avoiding talking about. Not only here, but IRL as well. I talk to the people who need to know and then I kinda shut it down. I shut down the fear and the worry and the anger.

Most of you that have known me for sometime, know that I am currently in the process of adopting my step-son, the Pickle. That’s a term I don’t ever use with him. He is my son in every way except for legally. This legal process and the new birth certificate with my name on it won’t really change anything between him and I, but it will keep him safe.

My boy has had a hard life. He’s seen more things in his 9 years than people should see in their lifetime. And mostly because when his “egg donor” had custody of him, she didn’t give a shit. He was her paycheck and meal ticket. As soon as my husband took her to court and received custodial rights and she stopped getting child support, she saw him a handful of times, not even using the full time she was supposed to spend with him and then it dwindled to just phone calls and then she just completely bailed out of him. That was three years ago.

As of July 1st, a public notice ad will be running in the newspaper of her last known address as notification of my intent to adopt.  This worries me. I would surely not put it past this selfish witch to show up and cause problems….just to cause problems. I mean c’mon after three years of not even giving a shit about your kid while someone else is feeding him, clothing him, loving him, taking him to the ER when he has a seizure, finding the right doctor to help out with all of his developmental and psychological problems…..wouldn’t it just be VAIN to show up and have your name kept on a birth certificate???

Our attorney says that is exactly what it would look like to a judge and that most of the time even if a parent does show up to contest an adoption, if they haven’t had ANY contact in over a year, the adoption is still granted.

But, I can’t help my worry.

Besides the fact that my son has to go to the courthouse that day and just seeing “her” if she shows up would be emotionally scaring, I worry about what would happen if the adoption isn’t granted. Then I get angry thinking about “her” EVER being able to cause him anymore pain and confusion than she already has.  As his mother, I have a right to protect my child. It’s like a basic animal instinct or something. But, for his sake I can’t exactly punch her lights out or do any of the other things my gut tells me to do. I just have to sit and wait and hope that she doesn’t know, she doesn’t show and that justice prevails, allowing me, finally, to protect my son.

4 thoughts on “Parental Rights

  1. She probably wont even know about it. And im gonna pray that she doesnt too. My parents had to do the same thing when they adopted my brother from my cousin. You know, even though those are in the paper, what weekly? I have NEVER looked at them or even thought to. I doubt she will too.
    RYC: Yes, why is that? I was so mad when a pair of pants that were a size 14/15 fit but then a pair of shorts were 18 and they fit. I refused to buy the shorts. I am NOT a size 18.. I fit into a juniors 14 pair of capris too which made NO sence at all..sure does shake down your self image thats for sure.

  2. i think it will go well. she won’t cause problems. i know you are worried, but i truly feel it will be ok. she’s been so out of his life for so long that its doubtful she will pop up now. hopefully she will not even notice. (((hugs))) stay strong!

  3. Truthfully, I don’t think she gives a damn.  Devon was just a paycheck for her.  Now there’s no chance for her to get any money out of him, I don’t think she’ll come around.  Here’s hoping, though, that my predictions are right.  You’re a great mom, Steph.  And you’re all he ever needs to know again.

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