When bad things happen to good people

Today is my Dad’s last day at his job. About six weeks ago, instead of getting the pay raise and bonus that he more than rightfully deserved…he was informed that he would be laid off. It sucks. Mostly because my folks live about 5mins away and they’ve decided with my sister moving out and this lay-off looming that they will sell their house. They will go wherever my Dad finds work. I am close to both my parents and so are my children.  My Mom & Dad are very involved with their grandkids.


Situations like this really make me question life in general.

My Dad is good guy and a hard worker. There were other people who could have been let go and wouldn’t have been missed at all. But my Dad has always been a good leader, he has integrity and has been respected for that.

Even now, while I curse such a thing happening to him, he reassures that there is a reason for this and has faith that better things await him. His example really touches me. I know he’s where I’ve gotten my strength from.

I’ll be forever grateful for that.

Love you, Daddy.


Parental Rights

There are issues that I have been avoiding talking about. Not only here, but IRL as well. I talk to the people who need to know and then I kinda shut it down. I shut down the fear and the worry and the anger.

Most of you that have known me for sometime, know that I am currently in the process of adopting my step-son, the Pickle. That’s a term I don’t ever use with him. He is my son in every way except for legally. This legal process and the new birth certificate with my name on it won’t really change anything between him and I, but it will keep him safe.

My boy has had a hard life. He’s seen more things in his 9 years than people should see in their lifetime. And mostly because when his “egg donor” had custody of him, she didn’t give a shit. He was her paycheck and meal ticket. As soon as my husband took her to court and received custodial rights and she stopped getting child support, she saw him a handful of times, not even using the full time she was supposed to spend with him and then it dwindled to just phone calls and then she just completely bailed out of him. That was three years ago.

As of July 1st, a public notice ad will be running in the newspaper of her last known address as notification of my intent to adopt.  This worries me. I would surely not put it past this selfish witch to show up and cause problems….just to cause problems. I mean c’mon after three years of not even giving a shit about your kid while someone else is feeding him, clothing him, loving him, taking him to the ER when he has a seizure, finding the right doctor to help out with all of his developmental and psychological problems…..wouldn’t it just be VAIN to show up and have your name kept on a birth certificate???

Our attorney says that is exactly what it would look like to a judge and that most of the time even if a parent does show up to contest an adoption, if they haven’t had ANY contact in over a year, the adoption is still granted.

But, I can’t help my worry.

Besides the fact that my son has to go to the courthouse that day and just seeing “her” if she shows up would be emotionally scaring, I worry about what would happen if the adoption isn’t granted. Then I get angry thinking about “her” EVER being able to cause him anymore pain and confusion than she already has.  As his mother, I have a right to protect my child. It’s like a basic animal instinct or something. But, for his sake I can’t exactly punch her lights out or do any of the other things my gut tells me to do. I just have to sit and wait and hope that she doesn’t know, she doesn’t show and that justice prevails, allowing me, finally, to protect my son.

What does your birthdate mean?

Your birth on the 27th day of the month (9 energy) adds a tone of selflessness and humanitarianism to your life path. Certainly, you are one who can work very well with people, but at the same time you need a good bit of time to be by yourself to rest and meditate. There is a very humanistic and philanthropic approach in most of things that you do. This birthday helps you be broadminded, tolerant, generous and very cooperative. You are the type of person who uses persuasion rather than force to achieve your ends. You tend to be very sensitive to others’ needs and feelings, and you able to give much in the way of friendship without expecting a lot in return.

Family Matters

How many times do you take a shot at something before you give up?

Isn’t the definition of insanity when you do the same thing over and over again with the belief that there will be a different outcome when it has always produced the same results before?

Lord, knows it has made me insane before.

What do you do when you need to make a decision and your heart and your head are not in sync?


My cousin, Li, sent me an e-mail this morning. She asked if it would possible for us to sit down and talk things out privately when I make my visit to KY next month about what has happened. What happened was that she had a boyfriend whom she said was being abusive. I finally became so concerned that I reached out to someone else in the family and that person confronted her. Her response was to act as though I was a crazy person, jealous of her relationship and creating drama for my own entertainment.

Now, I am all for finding a resolution to the situation as a whole….I’m willing to sit down and listen and I’d be kidding myself if I didn’t admit that I would like to confront her face to face about some things,like…sleeping with my ex-fiance, yeh, that ACTUALLY happened. I have no desire to be mean, but you know….when things go down and accusations are made about me that are not factual, I want an explaination.

I guess I’ll put my own reservations aside and hope for the best.


Today was the first game day for baseball.

My oldest performed well. His throwing has really improved and despite not getting a hit, he went down swinging. That’s my boy!

My youngest son had his very first t-ball game. YEH!!!! He did o.k. But, it’s difficult for both of us because it is also my very first season as my son’s t-ball team’s coach. So, when my peanut wants Momma to stop and coax him along, I can’t. According to the other parents I handled the situation very well, they were very impressed and I got a lot of wide-eyes and “I could never do that”s. It really wouldn’t have been so bad if it weren’t 90 + degrees + HUMID, cause orchestrating nine, 4 & 5 years really doesn’t need any added dilemmas.

It involves a lot of running around from position to position and giving pats on the backs and shouting reminders every couple minutes like “GET READY! LET ME SEE YOU READY! HANDS ON KNEES! STOP KICKING THE DIRT! WATCH THE BALL! HERE IT COMES! THROW IT TO FIRST!” lol. It’s funny, but tiring. We don’t count strikes or outs or runs, so nobody won. It’s all about skill learning at this age but I’m very proud of ALL my kiddos. Despite sweat and tears (and a little blood on a skinned knee) my kiddos toughed it out and finished the game.

Baby girl has an ear infection that kept me and her up all night.

I despreately need a good night’s sleep.

Get over yourself

Last night, hubby and I tried to go to bed earlier because we were both exhausted, but it didn’t happen.

My brother-in-law called completely wasted and was asking for his camcorder back. You know, completely logical importance after midnight. (eyeroll) He was nearby playing beach volleyball so he wanted to meet up for a drop off.

Hubby calls me about 15 mins later, he’s following his brother home, because he was being a stubborn jackass and had to drive home. He’d already gone up over the curb and crossed the center line. We hang up and I call his fiance’ and let her know what’s up. Girl code.

She’s pissed and tells me about how she has a mid-term in the morning and she had specifically asked him not to get sloppy drunk because he would need to let their puppy out in the middle of the night so that she could get a good night’s sleep. She says that she’s not sure what’s been going on with him lately.

Hubby calls me on his way home and tells me about how he tried the big brother thing and was talking some sense into him when his brother blurted out:“I am financially stable and I don’t care what anybody thinks about me.”

My brother in law has all the materialistic things one could hope for. A new house, a beautiful fiance’, a cute puppy, a great job, a college education, and a new Harley ,but having good looks, an education, and nice things to decorate yourself and your dwelling, doesn’t make you exempt from responsibility.
And I really want to clarify something to anybody who might read this because it seems to be an ongoing trend of thought…
No matter who you are and what you do, you are accountable for your own actions, especially when you hurt other people.

Rant over.


Getting three hours of sleep really bites ass. Especially, when you are required to wake up and deal with small children all day.

No sleep = no patience.
No sleep also = no ability to reason.

When you find yourself arguing with a 9 year old about eating a whole container of blueberries in one sitting, you’re definitely picking the wrong battles. And believe me at that age there are many of them.

And wouldn’t you know that the air conditioner was broken at the gym this morning, so aside from barely dragging myself into aerobics class this morning, I managed to sweat out any lingering energy I had. Oh, it was a rough one. Even the instructor was struggling.

Why am I so tired?

Well, I was settling in to watch a movie last night with husband and he said something shitty. I was already tired and that was my final straw. I turned off the TV, flicked him off and went off to bed. He then proceeds to watch the movie in surround sound at full volume. Then when the movie is over, he comes up to bed and wakes me up to talk. I don’t talk when I’m tired. It was bad. Then of course voices got raised, which woke the baby up who then stayed up til 2:30am. SWEET!

One last note: In the middle of arguing last night, my husband looks at me and says “God, you look so hot right now. I love your hair all messy.”
Men. Pfft…

Back for more

Why am I starting to blog again??? I am asking myself more than you but if you must know,


#1- Blogging is all the rage and as a SAHM (that’s online lingo for stay-at-home-Mom, wow I’m gnarly) I have to do something trendy so I can pretend I’m not the biggest dork on the planet.

#2- I am always with my kids. It’s me and them. So, I don’t really get to talk about the adult (not porn) things that are running through my mind. Grown-up stuff. My husband is ok, but he’s a  guy and he doesn’t always get it.

#3- The reason I stopped writing was to cease drama production. I have since realized that no matter what I do, and say…the drama will continue. I just choose to turn the other cheek and move on. Life is so short.

So, here I am…..again.

There goes the neighborhood

Picture me, standing on porch yesterday morning, sipping coffee in my “Born to be spoiled” mug in one hand, water hose in other watering my flower, in my leopard print PJ pants and “Wild Thing” T-shirt staring up at the sky because a helicopter has been hovering there for about an hour, when a bunch of cops go flying by my house sirens blaring, lights flashing….the works, followed by the county S.W.A.T. team!?!

Then my husband pulls in after work and says that he couldn’t get to the gas station up the street because the roads are blocked, there are people in the street looking very scared, and a S.W.A.T. team.

For a quiet town in bland suburbia, this is beyond strange.


5-Hour Standoff Ends With Accused Rapist

Man Allegedly Raped Teen

POSTED:7:47 am EDT August 5, 2005
Dozens of neighbors are back in their homes after a five-hour standoff Thursday. A gunman wanted on a rape charge barricaded himself inside a home and threatened to shoot police, NewsChannel5 reported.
The SWAT team was called into position at the home on Stow Road, officials said.
Police went to the home to arrest Howard Steinberger, 47, on a rape charge, involving a 17-year-old relative.
According to police, Steinberger retreated and barricaded himself in the home with a gun.
Officials added that he came out waving a gun in an effort to force police to shoot him.
After several hours, neighbors were evacuated from their homes and roads were blocked.
Steinberger listened to negotiators and finally surrendered peacefully, officials said.
He is charged with resisting arrest, inducing panic, disrupting public service and rape. He will be court Friday.
This happened right down the street from me. Right across the street from a playground that I walk to with my kids at least once a week.
Just goes to show you that anything can happen, anywhere….you just never know.