This marriage is unfair

Last Saturday (10/9/04) my husband and I went over to our neighbor’s house for a bonfire. In 3 hours, I had 3 rum & cokes and he polished off a 12 pack of beer.

Tuesday (10/12/04) a co-worker apparently significantly scarred his ego by telling him that I ran this house. He went to fix an ex-co-workers’ furnace and of course, had a few drinks and then continued to drink when he arrived back home. 1/3 bottle of run with coke and 3 beers. He was buzzed so I went to bed and locked the door.

Last night, Matilda and our neighbor came over to play cards. I”m not exactly sure how many drink he had, but he ended up stumbling around in his underwear, scratching and rubbing himself in front of them and pissed all over the bathroom floor. After getting down of my hands and knees and cleaning up his piss, I waited until we were out of ear shot and sight of our guests and calmly asked him to go to bed. I told him he was embarrassing me. This made him angry. HE denied being drunk (Yeh, ok) and spitting or pissing on the floor. Then he called me a “stupid bitch” and a “liar” right in front of them. I, again, privately explained why I thought he should go to bed.

Tonight I more or less returned the favors he has done to me over the years in one swoop. I told him I was leaving to take Matilda home and go get his stupid, chewing tobacco and food, but when I ran into trouble finding his specific brand, Matilda and I decided to drop into the tavern where his sister works for a drink. I called him from the bar phone and told him I had been to 3 different stores and they didn’t have it and since Matilda and I were drained from attending Phil’s funeral that morning, we just decided to stop in and blow off some steam with a night cap. He told me everything was fine and to get home when I could. Greg, a family friend came in and bought Matilda and I another round. He told us that he was getting ready to walk over to this little dive bar across the way because my father in law’s band was playing and that we should stop out. I told Matilda we would go over and make an appearance but because I was driving, I wouldn’t drink anything more and maybe she could call a friend to come get her if she wanted to stay.

My brother in law, JBob as I like to call him, was at the bar and bought us a drink without asking, as some gentlemen do, which I had to refuse. He got kinda pissy about it so I told him he could call his brother and smooth it out if that’s how he wanted to play it. He calls and then tells me my husband wasn’t mad and said he “wouldn’t get laid anyways” so it really didn’t matter to him what I did. Alrighty then. Have it your way. I gave my keys to my father-in-law and downed the drink. This is the ONLY time I have EVER been out by myself at a bar without my husband, excluding a bachelorette party 2 years prior when I was pregnant and volunteered to be the designated driver. I figure since I’m with his family that it’s cool anyways, right? WRONG.

I call him two hours later and he says he will come pick me up. When he gets there he hugs everyone, all chummy like and then asks where the bathroom is. I walk him back and he asks me if I cheated on him?  Whhhhhaaaaaat? When? Where. I tell him no. This is stupid because I’ve been with HIS family all night. On the way home, he acts impartial with our neighbor who sat downstairs on the couch while the kids slept. I thank him for watching them so my husband could come get me and give him a hug, talk to him about Matilda because they had hooked up the night prior and then he leaves. My husband offers to help me to bed. He does. I try to pretend to be sleeping to no avail because he obviously has a thing for necrophilia because he has sex with me anyways.

Afterwards, he gets out of bed, pulls on his underwear, leans over me and says, “ I want a divorce“. Interesting. I guess he doesn’t like the taste of his own medicine.

I get up and get dressed and follow him downstairs. He tells me he called my parents while I was out and I’ve been cheating on him. He calls Matilda a slut and when I defend her, he tells me she’s never been there for and that she’s not my friend. I point out that this is the only time I have done this to him, not even intentionally, and know he knows exactly what it feels like, but I have never done to him what he is doing to me. He says he’s gonna let me know how it feels and do to me what I always do to him, make me feel guilty. He says I should go stay with my Mom and to just leave the kids. I couldn’t help but laugh at him. I tell him he can tell it to a judge. He let’s me know that he won’t be paying for any of that shit or this shit if we split up besides diapers and wipes. He tells me he could get more cooking and cleaning from a roommate or other woman. I tell him to go for it. If it weren’t for me he’s be trailer trash and that I won’t let him destroy our children’s lives. That he can be guaranteed. He tells me I’m a worthless bitch and I laugh and retreat upstairs to the bedroom, lock the door and get back in bed, laughing. I can’t help it. The whole scenario is ridiculous. Not only am I drunk (I don’t recommend drinking on new psych meds), I’m past my point mentally because I’m so tired. I figure it’s probably better if we don’t say anything more to one another.

He breaks the lock on the bedroom and says he needs his wallet because he’s “leaving my ass“.

I’d probably be more hurt, if I didn’t see the humor in this situation and I’m beyond tired and emotionally drained from attending a funeral that he was too hungover to attend with me this morning. HE did apologize, but now I know what happens if the “I’m sorry” isn’t reciprocated per usual.