I had my gallbladder removed on Monday.
husband was over tonight to spend time with Jedi but my Mom ended up watching him the majority of the time because I was sleeping. Pain pills surely do numb all kinds of pain.
Im so distraught with life right now. Not with life, but with the way my life with this man has come about. I find that journaling helps me release a lot of the pain, but when I read back through this today, I couldn’t believe that I had ever allowed myself to live in such misery, or to allow someone to hurt me over and over again the way he has.
I helped this man achieve his goals and now Im back were I started. At home with Mom and Dad. At least it feels like “home”. That’s a feeling I haven’t had in my own house, maybe ever.
You know what’s really interesting? When I talk to him and we talk about where we are right now, all he talks about is how hard it is on him without me. Not emotionally. There isn’t any remorse or recognition, just that he doesn’t like having to handle all the responsibilities on his own. Effort. He doesn’t do effort.