Love lost

I always thought love was to supposed to make the difference in feeling lost and feeling at home. So when you feel completely lost in your home, I guess the logical explanation of whats missing is, love.

Im not even a month married, seven months pregnant and not only am I lost, I’m hopeless. I’ve arrived at this conclusion.

How can someone look you in the eye one night and take you in his arms and say, ” I don’t know what I’d do without you” and the next get completely wasted and not give a shit about you or the child you carry.

I hate him in this moment.

Hehas betrayed me one time too many. I will not subject these children to this. The choices he makes to fuck up his own life are fine, but now he is fucking up his family as well. Children deserve so much better.

I just spent 15 minutes in the bathroom voming, which I”m sure i not very healthy for this baby boy I’m carrying. My nerves are completely shot.

Where is my husband? Downing another beer.

What if I needed to go to the hospital?

How many times do you let someone break your heart? How many vows have been broken when it becomes habitual and you become totally disregarded.

I am about to hit an all time low with no medication and no help and have to pull myself up … alone.