Sunday’s Song

I have been here watching for awhile now.

I have been trying to figure out how I will fit into all this.

I try to rationalize, but this isn’t normal.

I can’t shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen to them…to us.

I just don’t know how to live with that.

I’m trying to find my footing here.

And I quote …

“The escape from darkness involves two stages:  The recognition that darkness cannot hide. This step usually entails fear.  The recognition that there is nothing you want to hide, even if you could. This step brings escape from fear.  Miracles rearrange perception and place the levels of perception in true perspective. This heals at all levels, because sickness comes from confusing the levels.”

from “A Course In Miracles ((Original Edition))” by Anonymous

Start reading this book for free:

The Pull

One minute you’re in your room and suddenly an episode of remembrance comes upon you. The portrayal of a bad man transported you right out of the comfort of your own bed and back to THAT mental place.You remember being the victim.

S  T  O  P  !

Do you have any idea how brave you are?

To ever be able to bear your body, mind and spirit again is a miracle. A miracle you perform every single second, of everyday.

The world may pass you over a million times with meaningless labels: but,

Hold your head high and proud , warrior and let your wild heart rave on!

“You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it” 

No facebook – Month One

Before shutting down my account, I asked whether I should let people know that I was leaving and make sure they had my contact info, but I realize the people I follow most on Facebook, are also the ones whose lives I am very much involved in. I figured these people have my cell number, we text and send pics etc and they physically know where I live. Plus, I remembered reading an article on Thought Catalog or some similar outlet which said announcing your Facebook departure is seen a dramatic, attention-seeking thing.

With ^this^ in mind, I just shut down my account. I didn’t just freeze it. I downloaded a copy of my entire feed and completely left. Adios.
DO YOU KNOW that people I talk to on the regular believe I had blocked them from my Facebook account – for no ascertainable reason? Seriously! My best friend even, told me she was going through a lot of medical shit and could have really used the support. I certainly apologized for anything I had done to contribute to that feeling. That’s not cool. For the life of me though, I couldn’t understand it because we had been texting and snapchatting, etc. Apparently though, I missed the posts.

This was not a solitary incident either. Even family members assumed that I blocked them.

Seriously, wtf?!

And I quote …

​We are exactly the same. We are individual pieces of a scattered puzzle and we are just a little lost down here. We are all desperate for reunion and we are trying to find it in all the wrong places. We use bodies and drugs and food to try to end our loneliness, because we don’t understand that we’re lonely down here because we are supposed to be lonely. Because we’re in pieces. To be human is to be incomplete and constantly yearning for reunion. Some reunions just require a long, kind patience.

Beautiful means “full of beauty”

I consider the possibility that I’ve been right and wrong my whole life. I was right to want to be beautiful and sexy; I was just wrong to have accepted someone else’s idea of what those words mean. It strikes me that I need to throw out the dictionary the world gave me about what it means to be a mother, a wife, a person of faith and a woman and write my own. I’ve finally unlearned enough. I have unbecome, and I am ready to begin again.